This week marks the release of the new blog site for the Capuchin Franciscans of St. Joseph province. For the past few months I've worked with our Vocations Director  Fr. Bill Hugo, OFM Cap. on a social media project to help build a web presence for the Province while also providing more information, experiences, and events. The overall goal: to allow everyone to get a better glimpse about our Order, how we live, and how we live out our Franciscan charism.

The site isn't 100% complete, but in true Capuchin fashion, we're learning as we're developing.

While its hard to find time to blog these days, especially with the end of classes coming soon, it's not because I've stopped focusing on web development. In actuality, I've built several websites since January, both for school and others. Here's a look at some of the projects I've worked on, as well as a rumor about an upcoming blog for the St. Joseph province of Capuchin Franciscans.

A new president gets to appoint an entirely new cabinet when he's elected, but a parish priest is "stuck" with the same choir director as before. This is the topic of Fr. Z's, blog - a lead I got from @4catholics.

I can sympathize with some of the things that he brings up, but there are a few points left out that reflect the reality of running a parish-especially when it comes to paid staff and the church's available funds. This is true especially in urban and/or poor parishes. It's unfortunate that musicians can be out of sync with the presider (and the congregation), but from a friar who regularly attends Mass at poor and minority parishes, it is only a "problem" for parishes that can afford another Music Director.

This morning I look out the window, wondering if rain on the day I take vows is either good or bad luck. While something so important is about more than luck and weather conditions, it's a unique feeling to capstone a long journey with the simplicity of the rain.

For those of you who've kept hitting the F.A.Q's button on the menu, I've finally gotten around to getting the page up! Sorry about the delay.

I get a lot of questions about my vocation, how everything worked, and how I made it through difficult experiences in my journey. Even when I started blogging four years ago, I wanted to be able to help people going through the same issues I was. Figuring out what God is asking of us can be a tough job; it can be even tougher if we don't know where to seek help. Hopefully by putting up the page, it will give some people access to ask questions while giving them a chance to ask their own.

Enjoy, and never hesitate to ask questions...especially when God's involved. You can either click the F.A.Q button on the menu or click here.

Peace.

As if I'm not busy enough, I decided to add two more blogs to my workload. It's not that I have more to write about, but I think it's best to keep my ideas in Order. I know I sometimes jump from topic to topic, and that can be hard for readers to follow. So to help me stay focused, and to help my readers, I've added two new blogs.

My Rosary Habit is a place for me to put up pictures of the my habit rosary work. I find I write most of my blogs when I have wire and bead in-hand, so rosary-making has become an important part of my religious life. I just wanted to provide a specific blog for it.

Friar Tech is an idea that's been going on for a while. As you may know, my focus after Novitiate will be on Ordination as well as the use of social media, the Web, and modern communications as a way to spread the Capuchin charism as a ministry. This area is limitless in its application, and each day I think of new ideas either as a ministry, as a way for my Order and/or Province to respond to the needs of the poor, reflections on what joyful simplicity means with Web use.

I don't plan to abandon my vocation story. For over three years I've been stumbling as a Christian, as a Catholic, and now as a friar. My goal is to focus in on those areas that are important to me, and make my stories clearer for the people who want to read them.

Thanks to all of you who've followed my life and have kept me in your prayers. I hope the next three years can be just as momentous.

Most people are familiar with Francis of Assisi's Canticle of the Creatures. In Italy this song is still used as means of learning the language. The words and depth of this canticle about "Brother Sun" and "Sister Moon" have lasted through the centuries.

Last Transitus I adapted Francis' canticle to be used for a procession to for the vigil. I've heard "All Creatures of Our God and King" and "Canticle of the Creatures" enough times at this point that I wanted something new. So I decided to write my own version.

Unfortunately I've not done anything with it since. I decided to share this version to either be read, sung, or chanted. I've included the tone changes and, should anyone be interested, I can share the music I used originally when writing it.

Enjoy.

The Canticle of Francis

Francis of Assisi

adapted by Br. Vito Martinez, OFM Cap.

Unto you Lord, Most High, your praise we sing

You reveal your glor-y in all things

To you alone all blessings do belong

None of us worthy to speak your Holy name

Praise be to You, My Lord, through Brother Sun

Bringer of day, he greets us with the dawn

Ví-brant and warm his rays of light

And bears likeness to you, O God on high

Praise be to you, my Lord, through Sister Moon

And through the stars that gleam and light the sky

Praise be to you, my Lord, through Brother Wind

He brushes our face, then races through the trees

Praise for the air, both cloud-y and serene

Breathes in life to all creatures of our King

Praise be to you, my Lord, through Sister Water*

Useful, humble, precious, a-nd pure

Praise be to you, My Lord, through Brother Fire

Illumines the night as he guides us on our way

Beautiful, playful, ro - bust, and strong

Giver of warmth, he dances for us all

Praised be to you, through Sister, Mother Earth

The off’ring of bread and wine, she grants to us first

Sustainer and the gov'ness of our lives

Abundance and beauty we see in all she provides*

Praised be to you, my Lord, through Sister Death

From her hand no mortal can escape.

* While the last part of each line is a three-note interval, some strophes have a 4-syllable ending. In those instances I've either shortened "fire" to one syllable or shortened the length of the note: "all she.."

This week's homily comes from my provincial minister, John Celichowski OFM Cap. (John C. for short) I failed to ask whether this beginning story was a true event or is a metaphor for many for living the Gospel in the midst of Christmas Consumerism. As soon as I get an answer, I'll update this post. Peace. -V

Headline: Santa in Slammer

Santa Involved in Mall Melee
by Mike Byline, Briarwood Bee Staff Writer

Santa Claus, beloved gift-bearer to countless generations of children throughout the world, found himself in the County Jail last night after he was arrested by Briarwood Police after a disturbance at the Mammon Mall. A copy of the complaint obtained by the Bee indicated that Mr. Claus, AKA “St. Nicholas” and “St. Nick,” was charged with disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace.

According to mall officials, nothing seemed out of the ordinary for a Tuesday evening at the mall until about 7:15 PM. That was when Mr. Claus, after speaking with his last little visitor to the “X-treme North Pole” display, reportedly shed his traditional red coat and pants and changed into an outfit that appeared to be made out camel’s hair. He then allegedly climbed to the roof of the gingerbread house, rang a bell, and unfurled a banner reading: Every shopping aisle shall be filled in, and every sale bin made low. The winding lines shall be made straight; and the rain checks and layaways shall be no more/ And all flesh shall see that salvation is not wrapped and under the tree.

Witnesses reported that upon unrolling the banner, Mr. Claus continued to ring the bell and used the display’s PA system to proclaim the message. A few shoppers were apparently so displeased by the demonstration that they began screaming and cursing at “St. Nick.” Mall security was alerted to the situation, and they in turn called police when some patrons began pelting Mr. Claus with the free Christmas cookies that were available at the mall’s Hospitality Center.

“I was expecting Elvis and Blue Christmas,” said Elizabeth Crocker, who was trying to track down some more Zhu Zhu Pets for her grandchildren. “Instead, we had to listen to….this man’s ranting. It certainly didn’t put me in the holiday spirit.” Mall Manager Bill Cash added, “We expect all of our employees and vendors to do what they can to enhance the shopping experience, and this was clearly not up to our standards. We apologize to anyone who was offended.”

A preliminary hearing is scheduled for Friday at the County Courthouse.

The word Advent comes from two Latin words, ad + venire, which together literally mean “to come to” someone or something. Most Catholics know that this is the season in which we prepare to celebrate God’s coming to us, particularly in the person of Jesus our Christ, whose birth we recall and celebrate at Christmas. Thus we heard St. Luke recall the work of John the Baptist and the words of Isaiah: ”Prepare a way for the Lord, make straight his paths.” But Advent is much more than getting ready to commemorate a past event.

The great medieval abbot, St. Bernard, reflected in one of his sermons that in this season we actually celebrate three comings of Christ: In his first coming our Lord came in our flesh and in our weakness; in this middle coming he comes in spirit and in power; in the final coming he will be seen in glory and majesty.

In celebrating Advent we too often focus on what Bernard called the first and final comings of Christ; but we sometimes neglect the middle. Yet don’t we proclaim in our Memorial Acclamation: “Christ has died, Christ is risen, Chris will come again?” In Advent we remember with gratitude the first coming of Christ; we live in hope for the third; but live in the middle coming, here and now.

That middle can be the toughest place to live, especially these days. I began writing this homily on the eve that President Obama announced his plans to devote another 30,000 troops and tens of billions of dollars to what has become a protracted war in Afghanistan. At the same time, so many people are out of work, looking for more work, and wondering how they are going to manage their mortgage payments, utility and food bills, much less their Christmas gift lists.

I recently saw a report that said that while Christmas shoppers spent an average of $412 in 2008, they are expected to spend an average of “only” $390 this year. More notably, however, 22% of those surveyed said that they will spend less than $100 this year. That news may not be good for the retailers or for our economy, but it could be a blessing in disguise for Advent and Christmas; for it might invite more of us to ask an essential question of this season: For what or whom are we really preparing? Can we, like the early church of Philippi for whom St. Paul prayed, learn “to discern what is of value?”

Advent is not only a time to reflect on Christ’s coming to us—yesterday, tomorrow, and today—it also calls us to reflect on our coming to Christ, here and now! When John began his ministry near the Jordan, St. Luke recalls, he went about “proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.” Forgiveness was something that God would do; but it could not be effective without a response. People not only had to be cleansed outwardly by immersing themselves in the waters of baptism but also cleansed inwardly through repentance.

What are the crooked paths in our lives that need to be straightened? What are the valleys of depression, despair and division that could be filled in? What are the mountains of pride, denial or even delusion that need to be leveled? What are the rough ways—particularly in how we sometimes treat those closest to us—that need to be smoothed by kindness, compassion, and justice?

May God, who has begun this good work of Advent in us bring it to completion in Christ Jesus our Lord, in spirit and in power.

By far, the most universal and popular saint in the Catholic tradition is Francis of Assisi. Due to the many stories about his life, he's been given many different titles: Francis the Peacemaker, Francis the Nature-lover, and of course Francis: a Model of Human Liberation. Yet as an ex-car salesman, it was Francis the Playboy that would draw me into his story. I was encouraged by Francis' conversion from his old self to the saint.

From 1 Celano:

Maliciously advancing beyond all of his peers in vanities, he proved himself a more excessive inciter of evil and a zealous imitator of foolishness. He was an object of admiration to all, and endeavored to surpass others in his flamboyant display of vain accomplishments: wit, curiosity, practical jokes and foolish talk, songs, and soft and flowing garments. Since he was very rich, he was not greedy but extravagant, not a hoarder of money but a squanderer of his property, a prudent dealer but a most unreliable steward. (1C:2)

 As a Capuchin friar who used to spend time hustling deals on the car lot, I can relate with a lot of the adjectives used to describe Francis' early life. This was the man I was trying to be several years ago. Yet here I am years later, a Capuchin Franciscan Novice...preparing to take the vows of obedience, celibacy, and poverty.
In studying the life of Francis in conjunction with my own faith journey, a model for conversion arises. For if conversion is "the renouncing of pervasive egoism and the turning to an altruistic love for objective truth, goodness, and beauty" as Thomas Dubay writes, (p22) than this is surely what Francis experienced. Reading these stories of his conversion - the "God moment" on the way to Apulia, the renunciation of his father, the kissing of the leper, and many others - provide us an avenue to view our own conversions through a modern lens.

I discovered the necessity for such a model of conversion not just in my life, but as I started working with other people in ministry. As Chaplain and Volunteer Coordinator at St. Ben's Community Meal in Milwaukee, we often had groups of high school/college students come in to experience a meal with the homeless of Milwaukee. The effects of these experiences on the visitors were real, but I had no way to help these people reflect on these experiences as a way to explore conversion in their lives.

In the book by William Hugo OFM Cap. "Studying the Life of Francis of Assisi" a psychological vision can be applied to those stories of Francis and allow for personal reflection. By using the tools of Dubay and Hugo, a 4-stage approach to conversion emerges. It is a tool I have used not only to understand my own experiences, but in talking with others as well.

 Old World View - We each have our "subjective selfish" ideals of how the world works. On occasion we have experiences that "offend" this world view - experiences that make us feel uncomfortable and uncertain. I am reminded of a girl on of these Immersion Experiences. She saw a man sleeping outside in the snow, yet she couldn't comprehend why he was there. Couldn't he go to a shelter? Weren't there agencies to help him?

Francis' experience was no different. The Kissing of the Leper is a prominent point for this stage. While his world has already started changing, he meets a leper on the side of the road. Lepers in the 13th century were considered to be "away from God," objects of terror and disease. Yet his experience tells him that God can be found in the poorest of the poor. Struggling between a personal message from the Divine and the social and cultural norms of his time, his world is fractured.

Introspection - Several times during his life, Francis disengages from the rest of the world. After his experience at the San Damiano church where the crucifix tells him: "Francis, rebuild my church," we find Francis pulling away from his old life as he tries to process these new conflicts. His desires for worldly things and vanity have left him. He gives away things that were once precious to him. His friends don't know him anymore, his father is unhappy with this change of attitude. Francis focuses on himself as he pulls away from the rest of the world.

When I first started to experience the reality of poverty and homelessness in Milwaukee, I spent a lot of time gathering information. I looked not just at arbitrary numbers, but I looked at the things that had given me pleasure and how they were in contradiction to what I saw in the poor around me. I treasured the fact that I was away from my home in Michigan, as I lost interest in many of the old things that connected me to those friends. I struggled to deal with my privilege versus the plight of the homeless, the desire to enter into their experiences, and to find the ultimate drive for wanting to do something.

Integration - Many of the stories that we hear of Francis are just this: him integrating his new thoughts into his life. One of the pinnacle events is the renunciation of his father and all hereditary rights in front of Bishop Guido II. He chooses to live a life of voluntary poverty, relying only on God to provide for his needs. His decision to dismount his horse and kiss the leper is another key event in Francis' Integration. It is through these acts that he begins to re-insert himself into society as he attempts to reconcile the conflicts he felt in his old world view.

Upon entering Postulancy, I remember passing a homeless person in my vehicle and turning away. I was preparing to be a follower of Francis, yet I was unwilling to look for Christ in one of His poor. But I carried that experience with me, and sat with it at times during the year. As the year went on, I made different attempts to "make up" for that decision: spending Easter with several homeless, spending time outside in the cold with a couple living on the streets, listening to people talk about their lives, and just being present and viewing them as human beings.

New World View - After those experiences during my Postulancy, I returned home to Michigan, only to find that what used to bring me joy was no longer of importance. My outlook of the homeless had not only changed, my self was changed. My family and my close friends said they noticed a "difference" in me, but they couldn't understand it. They experienced me as a warmer, more-caring human being...someone who cared about their interests and took time to listen (a stark difference from my days of selling cars).

In his Testament, Francis writes:

When I was in sin, the sight of lepers was too bitter for me. And the Lord himself led me among them, and I pitied and helped them. And when I left them I discovered that what had seemed bitter to me was changed into sweetness in my soul and body.

To compare the old Playboy Francis to Francis the Saint is comparing two different people. I doubt most of us will ever experience such radical conversion in our lives. The best we can hope for is to allow ourselves to be moved by specific incidents that challenge our world view; and rather than just avoid them or offer quick explanations like: "They need to go get a job," or "They should just go back where they came from," we stay with those experiences and allow them to change us.
My goal as a Capuchin friar is not to convert the world. After some profound experiences, I acknowledge that I cannot take someone through the proper stages needed for true conversion. I can only open people to experiences that might make them uncomfortable or challenge their current world view. However by tailoring their experiences around this model, and allowing people time for personal reflection, encouraging people to learn more and get involved, and showing that the ultimate motive for conversion is not simply to repair the self but as an act of love for the other, I feel that I am helping people enter into their own conversions.

I’ve been here in Allison Park for a week now…still getting into the routine of being a Novice. I tried to think of different ways that I could explain the experience to all the readers. Oddly enough, the best metaphor I can think of is how much this is like being back in elementary school!

I don’t want to imply that we are treated as children, nor do I want to give the impression that this program is either juvenile or unchallenging. However there are aspects to being a Novice that remind me of the days spent in grade school…just without the shyness, being picked on, or that strange awkwardness when talking to girls (OK…maybe I’m still a little awkward!)

1. The Uniform – Since being invested last Sunday, we often wear our habits to prayer, classes, ministry, and to meals. Like kids wearing new clothes for school, we’ve spent the last week playing with the habits, twirling the cords around, making and remaking the knots, accessorizing different side rosaries, and taking pictures en habitus in unconventional poses. We’ve already been admonished by the Novice Master for “inappropriately wearing the habit,” i.e. hiking up the habit to increase air-flow to the legs when it gets hot. (…As if I’m supposed to know that’s not appropriate. It’s not like I’ve spent a lot of time in a dress!)

2. Hot Lunch – Since most of our lives are surrounded by prayer and contemplation this year, we have a cook that comes in to prepare our meals. We each take turns assisting the cook and summarily doing the dishes, however our meals are prepared for us…a change from my experience as a Postulant. On the weekends we are forced to cook for ourselves. I plan on making macaroni & cheese with hotdogs this Saturday for everyone…I’m not ready for another turkey dinner.

3. Sit Down & Be Quiet! – Along with praying the hours of the Divine Office, we as Capuchins strive to spend an hour a day in contemplative prayer. In the morning and evening we spend time in the chapel to meditate as a community. If you are fidgety or have a short attention span…contemplation can be a struggle. If you didn’t get enough sleep the night before, 35 minutes of meditation at 6:30 AM can be an exercise in fighting sleep. I often spend that time in contemplation, praying the rosary, or doing spiritual/liturgical reading. (I am reading A Violence of Love by Oscar Ramero and the USCCB document on Music in Liturgy…not exactly grade-school material.)

4. Nap Time – At different times during the day, we are given personal time. One of the things that’s encouraged here is the use of rest during the day. We spend about 3 hours in communal prayer a day, not counting personal/private prayer. A lot of time that is spent out of prayer and classes is used in exercise. Therefore it has become essential, especially for me, to lie down at some point during the day and take a nap. Sometimes I only need 15 minutes of rest, sometimes I’ll take 3 hours of sleep if I have the time available. I’ve found naps to be greatly beneficial to me, so much so that I feel they should be continued past Kindergarten.

5. Schedules – Our lives here are greatly structured. If you want to know where I’ll be next month on the 5th at 7:00 AM, I could tell you with a great deal of certainty. The structure allows us to focus on ourselves…the biggest part of this novitiate year. I thought it might be tough for me, being confined to a rigid schedule of prayer, work, classes, meals, and even scheduled fun we call: “fraternal recreation.” However I’ve found the experience quite liberating, not having to schedule my own projects or tasks.

This is my first-week experience of being here at novitiate. I recognize that I’m still in the “honeymoon” phase, and that by this time in January I could be writing a blog entitled: Why Novitiate is Like a Freakish Nightmare from Which I Cannot Awake!

In light of the high structure and prayerful stature that we undertake here in Allison Park, PA, there’s always new and creative ways in which to wreck havoc within a religious community. Whether by plain ignorance or a skewed sense of humor, we seem to find new ways to give the formators that "head in palm" moment.

In light of these issues, here are 10 rules which we have been given…either because of something we’ve already done or because of some Novice in the past:

1. One shall not begin a prayer with the preface: “Dear Lord Baby Jesus”

2. One shall not pretend to perform jedi mind tricks while IN PUBLIC.

3. One shall not attend prayer with a cup of coffee, can of soda, a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, or anything written by Karl Marx.

4. One shall not wear the habit with only underwear underneath (or less.)

5. One shall not play basketball, soccer, or any other contact sport while wearing the habit. Moreover, one shall not do the aforesaid activities and then sit in chapel for 40 minutes surrounded by other friars without having bathed or changed clothes.

6. One shall not ask for intercession from the “Little White Guest” around people that don’t understand.

7. One shall not add beads, tassels, patches with band names, color the knots of one’s cord for a rainbow effect, or add anything that could be defined as “flair.”

8. One shall not use songs like: "Gather Us In" or "All are Welcome" as closing hymns.

9. One shall not construct a sign that implies a sense of oppression and/or inequality of the living conditions at the Novitiate, nor shall they erect signs in front of their house, labeling it: “The Ghetto,” “The Barrio,” or “Thug’s Mansion.”

10. The intercom system is not a toy, nor is it a sports ticker, a means to perform a “price check,” a platform where one should read excerpts from their personal manifesto, a means to imitate the booming voice of God, or the reproduction of noises commonly referred to as "Beat-boxing."

The day of my investiture brought to me a greater look at what it actually meant to wear the habit. For the past year, I’d eagerly awaited this day – the way a man in love looks forward to the day he will propose to his loved one. There exists excitement, fear, anticipation, worry, and joy in heart.

Upon arriving in Pennsylvania I had to unpack my habit which had sat in a box for the past 3 months. Since the ceremony wasn’t until 4:30 in the afternoon, I spent most of Sunday washing, drying, and ironing the habit.

As I took the time to iron my habit and chaperon, I was able to reflect on the symbolism of the moment. I felt like a groom preparing the tuxedo he would wear to his wedding. I partly felt like a soldier, preparing his uniform as he prepared to be commissioned to some duty. But most of all, I recognized that the habit that lie in front of me would be an external symbol of my faith. The robe and cord would display my commitment and my vow to live the Gospel in a specific manner. Whether I liked it or not, I would be defined by the garb of my Order.

As I continued to iron I knew that donning the habit meant different things to each of us. Some saw it as a transformative experience. By wearing the robe and cord they felt closer to God and more secure in their discernment of living this life as a religious vocation. Others felt the habit gave them a greater connection to the current friars whom were solemnly professed. While I’d always been treated as a friar in my province (in spite of my obvious Postulant status), others were just now experiencing that fuller sense of brotherhood. By being invested, the now held a greater status within their respective provinces.

Still others recognized that level of status that is attached with the habit, either within the religious community or when in public. Their thought is that the habit does not change who they are. To “over-wear” the habit is a matter of personal pride and possibly a sign of religious elitism.

All these different concepts of this robe raced through my mind as I continued to prepare my habit for the upcoming event. And in all honesty, I spent almost 2 hours ironing, primping, removing lint, and fitting my garb. Yet in the time I took to get out all the wrinkles, perfectly place the knots on my cord, and add the side rosary, I’d understood the importance of being invested and how it would affect my vocation at this point on.

I refused to think that being invested would provide a mystical conversion, yet the wearing of the habit held great importance. The habit is simply cloth; I would never consider it to be anything more than that. However this cloth represents a group of men to whom I have come to love and greatly respect. Starting from St. Francis and continuing down to the friars I’ve met over the years, this habit symbolized some of the holiest, smartest, devout, hard-working, funny, and caring guys I’d ever met. My presence here in Allison Park was a statement that these guys felt I was good enough (called) to be a part of them.

…and part of me wonders if I can ever be as great as the men I’ve had the pleasure of meeting.

I realize this desire to be a “great friar” is a construction of my own making – the remnants of a lifetime trying to compete and be the best. Yet since that Sunday when I was first invested, I recognize that I now belong to a group that believes in something great. As corny and simplistic as I think it is, perhaps my challenge this year will be to “Let go, and let God.”

And so begins my year of being a Novice.

After 2 months of being here at "Camp Capuchin" in Victoria, KS., it's time to pack up again and prepare our trip to Allison Park, PA. It is in Allison Park where we will be invested into our habits and declared as Novices for a period of 1 year.

The actual investiture process is a low-key event. Attendance is limited to those within the Order. The ritual of "dressing" novices in their habit is an old tradition and is a formal initiation into the community.

I know what you're thinking: The room will be pitch dark, people's faces will be hidden, there will be a lot of Gregorian chant, and before we get invested we must stand naked within a circle surrounded by candles, be branded in the chest with a hot iron, and then recite a long litany before the ritual is completed.

Unfortunately we won't have that much excitement. No brands like the Omega Psi Phi's, no being tied to a street sign, and no binge drinking. The ceremony will look less like something from DaVinci Code and more like a formal induction ceremony as we are welcomed by the community into a tough year of discernment, self-discovery, and understanding of our place in God's plan. In the end, being invested is a minimal ceremony that holds a great deal of meaning as we begin the next stage of our religious formation.

That takes place on Sunday. The rest of this week we are packing, cleaning up the friary here, and getting ready to leave. Since most of the classes and ministries are done at this point, much of my day is spent playing soccer, working out, and praying. Hence the "Camp Capuchin" title.

In this life as a religious friar, I strive for a lot of things. I try to be humble instead of prideful, I try to be a servant instead of being needy, and I try to give of what excesses I have to those who have less. However there's one trait that I've had to learn since joining the Capuchins:

Transparency.

For others in my community, for those I minister to, and for those who just look at my life, being transparent is an important part of living the Gospel. We are not monks who remain cloistered in an abbey; we spend most of our time out in the world. In an environment where "everybody has an angle," sometimes people question our intentions as to why we work with the poor and marginalized.

Read the full article here, and please remember to vote!

I've often found inspiration and meaning in songs that aren't normally classified as "spiritual." There are many songs that speak truth to me about my relationship with the Divine and the Spirit, but very few could be considered liturgical, gospel, or even Christian. I've tried to collect these songs, assuming no one else would understand such inspiration.

Fortunately, friars such as Fr. Mike Scully of St. Fidelis Church here in Victoria, KS does. He's a great guy, but here's his bio from his website: http://www.frmikescully.com/:

Father Michael Scully has spent most of his 40-plus years of ministry working with youth as a religion teacher, high school administrator, youth pastor, and parish pastor. In talks and retreats for high school and college youth, his presentation, "Rock Music and Leadership," has been presented to over 30,000 young people. He also has given many parish retreats and recollection days.
Father Mike Scully is currently serving as Pastor of St. Fidelis Church, the "Cathedral of the Plains" in Victoria, KS, pastor of St. Ann Church, Walker, KS, and pastor of St. Boniface Church, Vincent, KS. His radio show Message at the Top is aired on KJLS-FM, Mix 103 (103.3) in Hays, KS.

Fr. Scully's show Message At the Top takes the top ten songs of the week and breaks down the actual message behind some of these songs. Songs like: You Found Me by The Fray, If Today Were Your Last Day by Nickelback, and even older songs from John Mayer, Sara Bareilles, and Gavin DeGraw. The biggest surprise: this is all done on the local radio station in Kansas...not on public access or on an AM station. Fr. Mike's show airs on the biggest and most popular station in this part of Kansas.

His show brings a unique twist to songs not always found from older people or even clergy. He recognizes the power and the messages that are contained in songs, and he sees that all music can teach - the question is what does it teach. Even when one of the angrier or more sexually based songs make it onto the list, he does not hesitate to find some good from what is being sung. He admits he has his favorites and a list of songs he doesn't like to hear played, but he feels that too many people dismiss the message of music...rather than recognizing how it works with in us - especially the youth.

Fr. Mike's show Message At the Top, a ministry of the Mid-America Capuchins, verified a lot of what I felt about music and it's affect on my spirituality. I dropped the Music and Spirituality aspect of my blog for a time, simply because I didn't feel people were connecting with that form of contemplation as opposed to more traditional methods (devotions, Lexio Devina, etc).

Last week I had the opportunity to "guest host" his show. I may ask to join him again, and perhaps submit one of my song reflections to his list. If I go again, I will be sure to get pictures.

If you are anywhere near Hays, Kansas on Sundays between 10-12 (the station is too small to have live streaming of their broadcasts), be sure to tune in to 103.3. It may not be the ordinary ministry of the Capuchin Franciscans, but it's uniqueness and popularity tell me that someone is listening.

Transcripts of his last show can be found at his site for Message At the Top.

Have you asked young men and women in your parish if they've considered the possibility of religious life? A new video put out by my province asks that question of everyone: if we can foster religious vocations simply by asking if somoene's ever considered that possibility, why don't we do it more often?

Here is the video as found on YouTube. Why am I not in the video as much as the rest of my fellow postulants? I was struck with a horrible cold at the time and wasn't able to participate in this video. I have enough press about me already...time to share the glory!

(taken from our Triduum Retreat, directed by our Provincial Minister John Celichowski)

First read John 21:1-19

During his years as the head of what was then the Soviet Union,
Nikita Krushchev denounced a number of the policies and atrocities of
his predecessor, Jozef Stalin, who was responsible for the deaths of tens
of millions of his countrymen. Once, while he was criticizing Stalin,
Krushchev was interrupted by a heckler who cried out, “You were one
of Stalin’s colleagues! Why didn’t you stop him?”

“Who said that?” Krushchev roared in response. The room was
absolutely still. Nobody moved a muscle. After a long moment of tense
silence, Krushchev said quietly, “Now you know why.”

Fear is a powerful motivator in our lives. It drives us to do some
things: we cram for a test because we fear failure; we turn the car
around and return home one last time to make sure we didn’t leave the
oven or iron on; and we build our arsenals and armies to protect us from
attacks or threats to what some call “our way of life.”

But just as it compels us to do some things, fear also keeps us from
doing others: we fail to apologize for fear of appearing weak or getting
into another fight; we don’t ask some one out for a date or for their hand
in marriage because we fear rejection; we stay in the comfort zones of
our current lives and ministries rather than risk being or doing something
different because we fear failure. As we saw in the example of Premier
Krushchev, fear can also prevent us from stepping forward and speaking
out when we should.

What are you afraid of right now? Which fears are driving you,
and which ones are holding you back?

Jesus knew fear. He confronted it very powerfully in the Garden
of Gethsemane the night before his death. Most of the gospels describe
it as “anguish,” a feeling so powerful that one of them describes him
almost literally sweating blood. Throughout that night and just before
his arrest, it drove him back and forth from the place where he was
praying to his disciples, only to find them asleep and overwhelmed.

The disciples had to face their own fears; and “when the chips
were down,” they failed. All of them, save the beloved disciple, fled and
went into hiding.

None of them, however, failed as spectacularly as Peter, who
denied as many as three times that he even knew Jesus—the same Jesus
to whom he had vowed only hours earlier that he was prepared to die.
He couldn’t even admit that he knew him! Confronted at once with his
own cowardice and failure, Peter could only run away and weep bitterly,
entombed in his fears.

It must have been emotionally exhausting and perhaps became
even more so when Peter and the other disciples—driven behind locked
doors out of fear that those who killed the Lord were coming after
them—were confronted by Jesus, wishing them peace and showing them
his wounds but also challenging their lack of belief.

In the gospel passage we just heard, Jesus came once again before
Peter and the other disciples. The resurrection stories remind us of
something we easily forget: Jesus reveals himself to us, personally, over
and over again. He shows himself to us as communities at least as often
as individuals; and he often does so in the midst of our ordinary lives. In
this particular passage, it was in the midst of Peter and the disciples
engaged in their regular jobs, doing something they’d done thousands of
times before.

Like Peter and the other disciples, however, we so often fail to
recognize the Lord’s presence or action…until something unusual or
miraculous happens. Perhaps we’re still afraid, in the midst of the
increasing secularism and skepticism of our age, to acknowledge him.
After all, to do so has consequences. For Peter, the biggest consequence
seemed to be being reminded of his failure.

For the church today, perhaps the biggest fear is not so much that
Jesus is no longer present and working but that he is no longer doing so
with us. If the gospel is so powerful, how is it that fewer people seem to
be following it?

I sometimes wonder whether its this fear, along with the stated
concerns about Catholic identity, that are causing such a stir at Notre
Dame about President Obama’s commencement address and honorary
degree. Our Catholic teaching on abortion and the sacredness and
dignity of human life—not only at conception and in the womb but also
in the refugee camp, the AIDS hospice, the pre-school classroom, and
the prison—is pretty clear but even many of our Catholic elected
officials do not seem compelled to follow it, much less our non-Catholic
President. Indeed, more often than not our politicians on both sides of
the aisle seem far more persuaded by their respective party platforms.

Yet even in the face of this, the Lord’s voice to Peter and the other
disciples in the upper room and behind the locked doors, echoes to us:
“Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you” (John
20:21). He has sent us; and, if we look at it honestly and recall the rest
of the New Testament and the first several centuries of the church’s
history, in a world far less hostile to the gospel.

Symbolized in the disciples miraculous catch of 153 fish (said by
some ancient scholars to mark the number of known species and thus the
universality of the Church—our mission remains to gather all together,
and Jesus continues to feed us in the midst of it. Despite our failures,
Jesus invites us to make the risk of love and to feed and tend those
whom he has placed in our care; and he asks that we surrender our own
wills and lives to that mission…just as he did.

Like he did with Peter, he never admonishes us, “…and don’t
screw up again.” Instead he simply asks, “Do you love me?” and urges
us to feed and tend to those in need, who belong to him, not us.

In December 1914, a terrible fire swept through the laboratories of
Thomas Edison in West Orange, NJ destroying over $2 million in
equipment and much of the great inventor’s life’s work. His son Charles
later reflected on the experience of witnessing his father’s white hair
blowing in the cold winter air and his face glowing as he gazed upon the
inferno. “My heart ached for him,” Charles said, “He was no longer
young, and everything was being destroyed.”

Rather than being overwhelmed by the tragedy, however, Edison
told his son to call his mother. “Find her,” the inventor said, “Bring her
here. She’ll never see anything like this again as long as she lives.”

The following morning found the 67 year-old Edison walking
among the charred remains of a lifetime of work, hopes, and dreams.
Instead of mourning what had been lost he remarked, “There is great
value in disaster. All of our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can
start anew.”

Happy Easter!

Br. Ernie Bedard OFM Cap., a post-novice from the New York province, has decided to stake his claim on the internet with his new blog Reflections of a Capuchin Friar. Ernie is several years ahead of me in his journey to become a professed Capuchin friar, currently studying theology in Boston instead of Chicago like my province.

I encourage you all to take a look and give him a warm welcome. From the looks of his first post, he's got a great insight on our sense of Franciscan spirituality that may be beneficial to some of you. Hopefully he'll prove to the rest of you that not all the OFM Caps are crazy like I am!

You can find his blog here.

Our house has been flooded with candidates who plan on becoming the next class of postulants to join the Capuchins. I was asked to do morning prayer for the house, and while planning, I had came up with an idea: give an example of what it means to "get out of your comfort zone."

So rather than just using something I already knew, or letting someone else sing for me, I sang a capella this morning. I didn't just sing, but I sang something that's exactly easy: O Healing River.


Since there are a lot of references to water during Lent, today being from Isaiah, O Healing River is a good song for Lent...especially when Ashes has been used up by the first week! Those that know me also know that I don't (can't) sing, so I usually just play accompaniment. However with the chance to demonstrate what it means to do something a little scary, I put myself out there.

I doubt I'm ready for a solo career as a singer, but one of the things I'm self-conscious about is my singing. I think the chance to do little things like that, and do them to show the new guys that it's OK to be a little scared, helps everyone.

Once again, I was a part of the Capuchin Vocations Update distributed by our province. The other guys tease me because my story and my ministry are so frequently written about, both by the order and by others. Realistically, I'm the "writer" of the group, so quite often my stories, which contain many aspects of this life here, are used by the Vocations Office to help show possible candidates what it is like to live in religious life.

This particular picture was taken inside of St. Ben's church. Both Br. Dave and I gave them a history of the church, the mission and outreach, and the continued ministries that exist at St. Ben's, including the community meal six days a week.

The other guys in the photo include candidates who plan on being postulants next year, Parker (directly behind me) who is a postulant in my class, and Fr. John Holly and Br. Jerry Johnson, the Vocation Directors for the Capuchin province.

As always, if you have more questions about the Capuchins and what we do, visit www.capuchinfranciscans.org.