Now that we're past the halfway point of our Canonical year, we've kinda gotten into a routine with chores, prayer, etc. Learning to get into those routines provided plenty of amusement for us (and plenty of headaches for the Novitiate formators). While no one's been kicked out (yet) for doing anything stupid, there's a good list of candidates already!

With the help of the other Novices, I compiled the top ten reasons we got yelled at in the first part of Novitiate. No one really yelled, but since I've heard many of these admonitions from my mother when I was a kid, the experience is easily paralleled.

Enjoy, and remember that 21 guys living together in community is a recipe for comedy trouble.


10. Be careful! Since we've been here, we've managed to break a lot of stuff. The tractor's been broke about 4 times, doors fall apart, tiles come off the floor, toilets stop working, and that's just the top of the list. Mysteriously, no one knows how anything got broke!

9. Clean up the bathroom. With 21 guys, you'd think the bathroom situation wouldn't require much attention. Yet there is a beautiful absurdity when you go into the restroom and see an empty roll of toilet paper on the roll but an economy size bundle of toilet paper sitting on the floor just under it.

8. Act civilized at the dinner table. Remember that scene from Doubt where the silent meal of the sisters is contrasted with the loud, crude, and boistrous meal the priests are having? Sometimes we are as loud as those priests...sans the drinks and smoking at the dinner table!

7. Finish everything off. Capuchins have a wonderful charism of leaving 2 drops of milk in a container and putting it back into the fridge
for another friar to find. But that charism also extends to leftovers (something we always have with so many mouths to feed). However while the leftovers are eaten, no one down-sizes the container. Sometimes we have a serving of chicken sitting in a large container made for an entire turkey.

6. Check the disposal. The description of this one is better than anything I could make up: "If the garbage disposal is making a really loud noise, turn off the disposal. Then, check to make sure that nothing that shouldn't be in there isn't."

5. Put stuff back where it belongs. We have a cook that makes the meals during the week. Because she knows where everything belongs (more than we ever will) she can get frustrated when we put stuff back in the wrong place. We've been told to just leave things out if we don't know where they go, but in our attempt to be helpful, we sometimes put things back in the wrong spot.

4. Make sure you Music Folder is in order. Before any concert or solemnity, Fr. Gerard tells the schola (repeately) to put their folders in order so there isn't a bunch of page-turning during Mass/Prayer. Inevitably, someone "forgets" to do this and they spend half the time searching for the next song they're supposed to sing.

3. Hang up your habits. Again, the description from the Formator is better than anything I can ever write: "I don't know what's happening; perhaps some novices are just spontaneously combusting. But whenever I go into the Rec Room, I see a habit sitting on the couch. And all I can think is: 'What happened to the novice that was sitting inside it? Surely he would have hung it up if he took it off.'" Sarcasm is quite abundant here in Allison Park.

2. Don't bug the librarian. We have a library under the house, and one of the Novices works as the librarian for books checked out. However with new books coming in, and in an attempt to switch from the Duey Decimal system to the New System, a librarian comes in sometimes to help with that conversion. It seems like a simple request, but when you're stuck in one place and have to see the same 20 faces everyday/all day, new fpeople can become swamped by questions.

1. Take down the lights.Trying to leave the lights up until later in the year, we tried to rename the "Christmas lights" as "Ordinary Time lights." While we thought this to be a great idea, the Formators weren't interested.

175 days to go! (even though I said I wasn't counting)

In light of the high structure and prayerful stature that we undertake here in Allison Park, PA, there’s always new and creative ways in which to wreck havoc within a religious community. Whether by plain ignorance or a skewed sense of humor, we seem to find new ways to give the formators that "head in palm" moment.

In light of these issues, here are 10 rules which we have been given…either because of something we’ve already done or because of some Novice in the past:

1. One shall not begin a prayer with the preface: “Dear Lord Baby Jesus”

2. One shall not pretend to perform jedi mind tricks while IN PUBLIC.

3. One shall not attend prayer with a cup of coffee, can of soda, a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos, or anything written by Karl Marx.

4. One shall not wear the habit with only underwear underneath (or less.)

5. One shall not play basketball, soccer, or any other contact sport while wearing the habit. Moreover, one shall not do the aforesaid activities and then sit in chapel for 40 minutes surrounded by other friars without having bathed or changed clothes.

6. One shall not ask for intercession from the “Little White Guest” around people that don’t understand.

7. One shall not add beads, tassels, patches with band names, color the knots of one’s cord for a rainbow effect, or add anything that could be defined as “flair.”

8. One shall not use songs like: "Gather Us In" or "All are Welcome" as closing hymns.

9. One shall not construct a sign that implies a sense of oppression and/or inequality of the living conditions at the Novitiate, nor shall they erect signs in front of their house, labeling it: “The Ghetto,” “The Barrio,” or “Thug’s Mansion.”

10. The intercom system is not a toy, nor is it a sports ticker, a means to perform a “price check,” a platform where one should read excerpts from their personal manifesto, a means to imitate the booming voice of God, or the reproduction of noises commonly referred to as "Beat-boxing."

Like any other blogger, I worked at growing my list of readers and increasing my chances of a google hit. It's an elegant dance: on the one hand you want everyone to read your weblog; on the other you don't want to sell out your story just so you can be the next Tila Tequila. I always kept my story first.

While looking at my blog tracker, I noticed odd search queries that brought my blogs up on the front page of google. For lack of any better topic, (current postulancy and lifetime commitment notwithstanding), I decided to create a new meme.

The following is a list of 5 different search queries that will bring up my blog on the first page of a google search. Feel free to test them out for yourselves!

1. "Capuchin vocations" - An easy one, since most of my blogs as of late have dealt with my acceptance as a postulant. Nothing new here.

2. "St. Vito" - Top hit on google, which makes me think I should do more about my patron saint.

3. "All time greatest 80's rock songs" - I still find it wild that even after writing that blog over a year ago, it's still one of my biggest visited posts. Hair bands will never die!

4. "Tobwin Dodge" - An erroneous spelling of Towbin Dodge, the famous dealership in Las Vegas from the show "King of Cars." Sometimes I miss the sales business.

5. " [title here] song meaning" Many of the visits I've seen on my tracker are people looking for lyrics and meanings to many of the songs I found spiritually important to me. "Life By the Drop," "One Thing," "Ramblin' Rover," and many other titles, some of them I've almost forgotten, compose many of my viewings.

While I'm not interested in just numbers anymore, I do find the blogging phenomenon still interesting. My purpose behind this has since changed, but I find that when spreading a message, one should use any method available to get someone's attention...even if people are just surfing through to look at some Bloom County images I have on one of my earlier posts. Whatever gets the message across...

It's late and I have class tomorrow. I need to stop rambling and sleep.

Callixtus, martyr and pope, pray for us.

After being tagged by Alice at Catholic Me (I Am Blessed), I am passing on a little more info about myself. I've picked up a few new readers along the way, and sometimes I wonder if people truly understand the irony of someone like me being called to a religious vocation.

I've changed a few of the initial questions, but I'm sure it won't be any less informative.

What I was doing ten years ago:

At 23 I was working for an entertainment company, traveling to different college campuses from New Hampshire to Arizona...making music videos for college students. It was my first "great-paying" job, and I soon learned how I could spend retarded amounts of money without actually buying anything. Between drugs, women (well, college girls), and the superficial clothes/jewelry/shoes I bought, I managed to retain nothing after all these years.

5 Snacks I Enjoy:

1. Pizza Rolls
2. Cottage Cheese with Canned Peaches
3. Ramen Noodles w/ Parmesan Cheese and Jalapenos
4. Beef Jerky
5. Monster Energy Drink

Things I Would Do If I Were A Billionaire:

1. Throw a massive party, inviting everyone I know, and pay their way to get there.
2. Some donations.
3. Create several foundations so I can continue to help people after the billion dollars runs out.
4. Buy a Gibson Les Paul Custom
5. Put $1 million in a Swiss bank account, and happily live off of 10%.

Five Jobs I've Had:

1. Bouncer
2. Database Administrator
3. Car Sales Manager
4. Music Video Director
5. Poker Dealer/Pitboss

Three Of My Bad Habits:

1. "I'll get to it tomorrow."
2. "I am the greatest salesman ALIVE!!!"
3. "It's all about me."

Five Song I Must Sing Along To:

1. Killing In The Name Of by Rage Against the Machine
2. Falsom Prison Blues by Johnny Cash
3. Where You There? performed by anyone
4. Suite: Judy Blue Eyes by Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young
5. Mo' Money, Mo' Problems by The Notorious B.I.G.

Five People I Want To Learn More About:

1. Tim at The Cakery.
2. Alan at Thoughts On A Journey.
3. David at The Coffee Shop.
4. Anyone that read this post.

It's a pretty easy meme, which is OK by me. I'm fighting through another cold, so it's an easy to follow. I need to get rid of this cold so I can start on my ultra-amazing surprise, something I can't discuss, until I get the letter from the Capuchins ensuring my acceptance as a Postulant for the fall. I guarantee you, it will be the perfect climax to this wonderful blog!!!

Undoubtedly everyone's heard about the new sins decreed by the Vatican this week. As always, there are those who are either ignorant or patronizing of anything related to the Catholic Church. As such you get comments such as: "Who does the Pope think he is to make up new sins?" or: "Why is the Church meddling in social issues instead of concerning itself with the souls of men?"

As a "left-leaning" Catholic myself, I feel that the social injustice sins have been a long time coming. We're connected like never before in the history of the world, able to affect so many people at once. As far as I can tell, they've simply expanded on the idea of the Seven Deadly Sins to include those acts which affect others on a much broader scale.

What is a good Catholic with a sense of humor to do when everyone around him is taking these new sins either too seriously or no serious enough? Come up with a list of my own.

While I don't foresee becoming an Archbishop or Pope anytime soon, this is the list of sins I would add. They aren't really "deadly," let's call them something else:

The Seven Vexatious Sins

1. Sending Email Spam - I can't stand weeding through endless amounts of junk sent to my email address. If you're spreading fallacious emails like "Barack Obama is secretly a Muslim," you're bearing false witness. If you're trying to convince me I won the lottery in Nigeria, you're stealing. For those of you spamming porn emails, I think you know where you fit in.

2. Not Merging In A Construction Zone - You've been there. You see the "Lane Closed Ahead" sign, you merge into traffic like a good Catholic driver, and while you sit patiently in your vehicle, you watch others speed by and try to sneak into the lane at the last possible moment. If you are one of these drivers, you better go get absolution right away...but you can only drive 20 mph.


3. The "English Only" Movement - Just a bit of history, when scared Americans try to "push" undesirables out of this country, language is one of the tools of the trade. We did it after World War 2 on the West Coast with the many people speaking Japanese, we did it with the French after the Louisiana Purchase, we even did it to the Germans in colonial Pennsylvania. Oh, and those pesky natives that were around, we kinda alienated their language as well.

The "English Only" movement stems from fear of the unknown. When we turn that fear into oppression, we're not being open to all of God's people. That and I have a hard time dealing with pretentious folk who think that language makes them "more American" than someone else.

4. 24" Rims - While on the road to Damascus, Saul of Tarsus was blinded by a brilliant light. While Jesus chose this time to reveal Himself to Paul, the blinding light came from an '87 Cadillac Fleetwood rollin' on 24" wire-wheel Daytons.

Perhaps there's no Biblical foundation for the sin, but cars with oversized chromed-out rims look ridiculous. It lowers the gas mileage (if such a thing is possible for a Caddy), it's a stiff ride, and it's a waste of money. If Moses were around today, he would've given us the commandment: "Thou shalt not throw D's on it!"


5. Half-Eating Snacks From the Lunchroom - It's someone's birthday; they brought in doughnuts. But you don't want a whole doughnut, just a small bit to satisfy your sweet tooth. Whether you pull off a piece or use a knife to cut off a small part, you feed your craving. Meanwhile, the next person who comes in sees a half-eaten treat which looks completely gross.

Please, if you're gonna take something from a community food basket, don't leave half of things behind. I know you didn't take a bite out of it and put it back, but we all work with someone that could. Either share, eat it all, or have a Mentos instead.

6. Watching South Park - While I not only find this show devoid of any comedic value or original ideas, I think the viewing public has become less intelligent after watching too much of this show. Since this abomination could last even longer than The Simpsons, we must protect mankind from turning into a society of bumbling idiots.

Keep in mind this sin is soley in regards to South Park. Family Guy, American Dad, and Futurama (yes, new episodes of Futurama are coming!) are perfectly acceptable.

7. Wearing a Blue Tooth Mic - I get the fact that you're trying to be "hands-free" and that it just looks cool to just talk without holding a phone to your ear, but I'm sick of feeling stupid cause I think someone is talking to me, and they turn their head and I see the big electronic piece in their ear. Instead of talking with a Bluetooth, get a big sign on a string and hang it around your neck that says "I am cool." It's the same thing.

Consider thineselves tagged, and feel free to let loose.

Whether you're a professional Air Guitarist or you just can't put those leather pants and pink scarves in the closet, ther's no letting go of rock from the 1980's. Long permed hair, heavy make-up, spandex...and that was just what the guys wore!

It's okay to admit it: you know who the real guitar heros in history are. Did you save that denim jacket with all the band patches on it, or all those pairs of ripped jeans? Whether you dressed the part or not, the hard rock of the late 80's showed us how to rock out and look good at the same time. I don't care what anyone says, hair bands will always have a special place in my heart.

No power ballads on this list; we're here to bang our heads and rock all night. Let's take a look back at my 10 favorite rock songs of the late 1980's.

1. Once Bitten, Twice Shy by Great White - Awesome song by a great band. It's unfortunate that the only thing they'll be remembered by is the pyrotechnic fire in Rhode Island.
2. Kickstart My Heart by Mötley Crüe - Interesting thing about this song: when I play it in the car while driving on the freeway, the spedometer mysteriously creeps up to 95+ MPH! It wasn't till they laid off all the drugs that their music got really good.
3. Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard - One of the cornerstones of 80's hard rock, this song alone catapulted the sales of the Hysteria album to over 4 million copies. And it is one of the greatest strip club songs of all time (so I've been told).
   
4. Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi - It might not be cool to like Jon Bon Jovi, but he's proven his worth by not wasting his fame and money on boose, drugs, and loose women. A staunch Democrat, it almost seems ironic how the song reflects his stance on social justice and charitable works. 100,000,000 Bon Jovi fans might be wrong, but how many rock stars own an arena football league like Jon?
5. Paradise City by Guns n' Roses - Admit it: the first time you saw Slash playing guitar and wearing that top hat, you wanted one as well. The last two minutes or so of this song make you wanna go crazy. FYI: head-banging requires practice...use caution when rocking out.~
6. Still Of The Night by Whitesnake - The video to this song always stuck in my mind, because during the interlude, Vivian Campbell was using a violin bow to play the guitar, reminiscent of Jimmy Page of Led Zeppelin. If you were a guitar player like me, you'll remember that Whitesnake went through a handful of great guitarists, including Steve Vai, John Sykes, Adrian Vendeburg, and most recently Reb Beach.
7. Youth Gone Wild by Skid Row - Before their career was destined to the memory of their Power Ballad I Remember You, Skid Row was slated to be one of the harder bands to come out in 1989. Sometimes our success is also our downfall.
8. Cold Blood by Kix - You have to be an aficianato to remember this one. Here's a hint: its the band that wrote the anti-suicide song: Don't Close Your Eyes. This was their second good hit before being lost to obscurity. I found it wonderful how I sang along to the music video, remembering all the words.
   
9. Talk Dirty To Me by Poison - The beginning of it all: the hair, the make-up, the jewelry. Before we'd ever think of calling it glam rock, Poison represented the guy parents never wanted their daughter to bring home. Yesterday I saw a guy with pink/blue hair, eyeliner, black fingernails, and several piercing. If I had a daughter and she brought him home, I'd throw him head-first out of the house. Funny how time catches up with us.
10. One by Metallica - Before any fans get upset, I realize Metallica had a different sound and persona than the other nine bands I listed. Kirk Hammet never wore make-up that I saw. However Metallica's And Justice For All album broke them into the mainstream with this track. Most people have heard this song at least once, exposing an entire new audience to their intense sound.

Almost all of these songs can be found at projectplaylist.com, the site where I pull all my music for my weekly song blog. If you've not heard a song on my list, stop and visit. Warning: excessive listening may cause spontaneous headbanging!
Consider thineselves tagged.

I was tagged by the young Irishman Danny Donellan of The Prodigal Son. It's the first time I've been tagged for a meme. I feel at one with the blogosphere.

"The rules are simple…Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog."

I believe habits change, so I'll stick to the facts:

1. I hate seeing fingerprints on a computer monitor. I cringe when people touch the screen to point out something. I don't consider myself to be obsessive-compulsive, but staring at fingerprints drives me insane. I will stop everything to wipe the monitor clean.
2. When I was 15, I developed Epilepsy. There's no history of it in my family, nor is there a dramatic trauma to explain it. One morning, I was playing Super Mario Bros. 3, and I remember waking up after having it. I take 600mg of Dilantin a day, and my condition is controlled.
3. I play Everquest. Well, I used to before my life got so busy. (I'll pause while you laugh to yourself.) I enjoyed the game for years, although I remember years ago when I played all night, then went to work without any sleep. I met some wonderful people through the game, and I cherish their friendship as much as any other.
4. I sing to whatever music I hear, since I know songs from about every genre.
5. I am a bad singer. If someone complains, I'll sing worse on purpose.
6. I have two tattoos: one on either arm. On the left is an eagle holding a snake, reminiscent of the Mexican flag. On the right, I have an Old English "V" in a weak attempt to be thuggish.
7. I have a piercing not on my face. No, I won't say where it is. No, I don't wear a ring/stud anymore, but the hole is still there.
8. I'm still writing a screenplay about the discernment of man, going from a professional sinner and becoming a priest. I've not worked on it in months. Perhaps when this journey is finally done, I'll continue working on it.

I tag the following 8 people:

1. My Life and Times
2. Not Much Southern Comfort
3. Thoughts On A Journey...
4. Kicking and Screaming
5. Holy Famoley
6. Exultet
7. Adoro te Devote
8. Ironic Catholic

OK, I'm stretching a little for a discussion topic today. I apologize for not having any profound revelations to dispense at the moment, but hey...it's Friday!

In an idea I "borrowed" from Sarah Lane's blog, I decided to set my iPod to Shuffle and list the first 10 songs it plays, giving a brief explanation about each. I listen to a lot of music, and some of it isn't exactly "Catholic-friendly."

So this blog has some potential.

Here goes...


1. "Without You" by Dirty Vegas:

This is an older song, but my DJ roots are still strong. Electronica has a special place in my heart, whether its house, techno, drum & bass, or trip hop. This track is most recognized as a theme song for a Mitsubishi Eclipse years ago:




2. "Little Wing" by Stevie Ray Vaughn:

I first heard this song in high school. A friend/band mate was interning at a local radio station, and snatched up one of several CD's they were giving away. While I haven't picked up my guitar in years, hearing this song makes me sad that I stopped playing. Rest in peace, Stevie.

Fun guitar fact: SRV used extremely heavy gauge strings on his guitars, giving it that unique sound. If you're a guitar player, you know that those tricky blues bends are tough to do with heavier strings.


3. "Time" by The Dream Traveller:

The first cut from Paul Oakenfold's Tranceport CD. It took me a while to actually enjoy anything mixed by Oakey; my favorite U.K. DJ is Tony De Vit. While my skills were never as good as theirs, even a kid playing Little League knows who his idols are.

This particular track reminds me of long drives across the country, driving a van and taking pics for students at different colleges in the U.S.


4. "Holy Is the Lord (live)" by Chris Tomlin:

The first time I heard this song was with Father Andrew-Carl Wisdom, OP: Vocations Director for the Order of Preachers, Central Province. Two others with me, considering a life with the Dominicans. Father Wisdom showed a DVD made by one of the novices, chronicling their year at the novitiate. This was the theme song.

I feel a deeper connection with the live version of this song. Perhaps it reminds me of the Dominicans. Perhaps the end of the track, where the crowd continues to sing after the music ends, is something far more touching than anything produced in a recording studio.


5. "107.3" by iTrip:

Not really a song, but its listed on the iPod as a song, and unfortunately works its way into a random song shuffle. The iTrip is an inexpensive FM Transmitter for the iPod that allows you to listen without connecting anything to your car stereo. If you don't have a cassette adapter, or maybe your deck only plays CD's, you can set the channel and play your iPod through your car speakers for about 30 bucks. (iTrip at Amazon.com)


6. "Step In the Name (remix)" by R. Kelly: Yes! Yes! I admit it! I still listen to R. Kelly. Yeah yeah, I know about everything that went down, and I heard all the ugly stories about what happened, but I'm sorry...I'm a sucker for a good song.

Doesn't that make you want to get up and dance?


7. "Against All Odds" by The Postal Service:

Remember me talking about "others looking at joining the Dominicans?" One of them turned me on to The Postal Service, a pleasant cross between indie rock and minimalist techno. It's great music to relax with, although the singing is iffy at times. This is their remake of the Phil Collins hit.


8. "Remember the Name" by Fort Minor: Now we get into the edgier stuff. Anything that gets my blood moving is great. The beat, along with the words (sans all the F-bombs), is definitely invigorating:


"This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill,
Fifteen percent concentrated power of will.
Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain,
And 100 percent reason to Remember the Name."


9. "Sunday Bloody Sunday" by U2:

It took me a long time to warm up to U2. Back when The Joshua Tree was released, U2 didn't have the energy I was looking for in a band. Of course, I was listening to Skid Row, Motley Crue, and Def Leppard in those days. (Yes, I had a mullet. No, I will not show a picture of it.)

Around the time How to Disarm an Atomic Bomb was released, I began to really get into their sound. And even if Bono's not ready to accept his Catholic roots, classic U2,such as this track, is simply divine.

10. "Pimpin' All Over the World" by Ludacris:

I listen to a lot of Hip Hop, and I'm not ashamed of it one bit. I might not agree with many of the hedonistic messages that are common in newer releases, but I grew up listening to rap. I grew up when Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, and Eazy-E were still making tapes about Compton, I listened to Chuck D. talk about the oppression of blacks, and I listened to Ice-T talk bad about the cops before playing a cop on Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.

The music moves me, and that's why songs like this are on my iPod. For those of you who just can't tolerate Hip Hop, you'd be interested to see how similar the genre is to modern Country & Western music. (Sounds like an up-coming blog to me!)

If you can find a half hour to sit down and shuffle your iPod playlist, write down your first ten and explain why you listen to it. You might reveal more about yourself than you know.

...also I'm looking for more good music, and this is a easy way of seeing what everyone else is listening to.