I should start out with two stories from my own experience:
Showing posts with label Paying Off All Debt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Paying Off All Debt. Show all posts
I should start out with two stories from my own experience:
Lately I feel like a millionaire: I make more money than I know what to do with, and I always have that urge to go out and just spend. Ever since coming back to the car business, I've been extremely busy selling cars. My commission check have been monstrous, my bank account is fat, and all day at work, they hear me singing to Rick Ross: "Everyday I'm hustlin'!"Last week I got a check for over $2000. This week I didn't make as much...only $1500. I don't mean to brag about the money I'm making, but last month I was dealing cards for $50 a day. It took a week's worth of work to make $250. Yesterday I made $350 in less than an hour.
The dynamic of the car business is that this is my chosen profession. Were I to continue to work for Bossman at his dealership, my income would continue to grow as the dealership grows. I could easily make $50,000 in 9 months of work, have plenty of vacation time, a company vehicle, and wake up everyday feeling like a pimp. Who in their right mind would turn away from such a promising career?
Even if my paychecks double from where they are now, money is no longer a factor in my life. I think it's hard for some people to understand, and people think I'm lying when I tell them money doesn't matter to me. I've already lived the high life, I've grabbed the American Dream. Even at $100,000 a year, I'd still walk away without regrets. It sounds crazy, but it feels wonderful.
Last week I finished paying off my entire debt. One check did it. As I continue to make money for Elvis and myself, I've started "ear-marking" charities and organizations for sizable donations.
I've donated to my church, National Public Radio, The Epilepsy Foundation of Michigan, and several others. My church's food pantry is in need of food; I told them to make me a list - a big list. I have a charity golf event next month to attend, and I want to help my mom pay off her car before I leave for Chicago. I buy myself clothes or shoes when I need them, but after paying off $18,000 in debt, it's hard for me to "go nuts" at the mall anymore.
My friends find it unreal that I can make so much money and not let it affect who I am or who I want to become. It's my greatest method of testimony, to show people that money and objects are not the source of happiness, that no matter how big your paycheck is or how many rooms your house has, if you can't find that inner peace you will never be happy.
I'm happy working in the car business, but I know I can be so much more. That greater desire in my heart, that calling, is what brings me peace.
I would happily walk away from this job for a chance to follow my dream.
I have less than $3000 left to pay in total debt, with a little more than 4 months to go until the start of Postulancy. While the Order has already told me they would help with some of the medical bills, I'm still doing everything I can to be paid off before entering.
As I look back through some of my earlier blogs about my debt, I find it interesting how the actual amount keeps fluctuating. Last year at this time, my total debt $6500. Yet I've spend almost $8000 on nothing but bills and past debt. Now, I've found every little bill and debt, and I merely need to pay off the rest to be done and ready to go.
One of those bills I mentioned before; I have an old ambulance bill that no one wanted to collect on. I did everything I could to contact the creditor, yet I couldn't call, email, or fax. In a last ditch effort, I wrote up a business letter. The order said they felt I did everything proper to try and find the creditor, but if I could not get it paid, that would be fine.
This weekend, I got a letter back. I'd found the creditor, and they said they were "more than happy to set up payment arrangements with me."
$3000 seems like so little money, especially now that I'm selling cars once again. I only work until Wednesday this week; Thursday I leave for Wisconsin for the Triduum Retreat Weekend with the Capuchins. Even with the short work week, I'm estimating I'll make $850. I have a dentist's appointment before I leave for Wisconsin (cost: $200) and I have rent coming up as well ($250).
Perhaps it's part of the plan that my life has gone "there and back again." This time around, I'm interested in money only to the extent of paying off my personal debts before entering the Postulancy. I feel more at ease with customers, I'm less stressed, and even though this is a temporary job, I feel that I am doing the best I can for Bossman and his business.
137 days, and $3000 to go!
As I look back through some of my earlier blogs about my debt, I find it interesting how the actual amount keeps fluctuating. Last year at this time, my total debt $6500. Yet I've spend almost $8000 on nothing but bills and past debt. Now, I've found every little bill and debt, and I merely need to pay off the rest to be done and ready to go.
One of those bills I mentioned before; I have an old ambulance bill that no one wanted to collect on. I did everything I could to contact the creditor, yet I couldn't call, email, or fax. In a last ditch effort, I wrote up a business letter. The order said they felt I did everything proper to try and find the creditor, but if I could not get it paid, that would be fine.
This weekend, I got a letter back. I'd found the creditor, and they said they were "more than happy to set up payment arrangements with me."
$3000 seems like so little money, especially now that I'm selling cars once again. I only work until Wednesday this week; Thursday I leave for Wisconsin for the Triduum Retreat Weekend with the Capuchins. Even with the short work week, I'm estimating I'll make $850. I have a dentist's appointment before I leave for Wisconsin (cost: $200) and I have rent coming up as well ($250).
Perhaps it's part of the plan that my life has gone "there and back again." This time around, I'm interested in money only to the extent of paying off my personal debts before entering the Postulancy. I feel more at ease with customers, I'm less stressed, and even though this is a temporary job, I feel that I am doing the best I can for Bossman and his business.
137 days, and $3000 to go!
I mentioned a few weeks ago about a pesky bill collector that wanted to keep charging me more money on a debt I'd already paid off. Over the weekend I was served a Summons. I'm being sued. Interestingly enough, it's for the full amount; I have receipts from paying them. Maybe they're just being annoying?
I knew I had to say something in my defense, but like most people I know little about legal recourse and I'm not financially equipped to have a personal lawyer on retainer. Fortunately someone I know through the charity work I do happens to be a lawyer, and was willing to help me out free of charge.
He sat and listened to what happened, gave me a few pointers, and by the end of the talk I was almost ready to counter-sue! It was wonderful to have his assistance. Now when I respond I feel confident that I will either be awarded a Satisfactory judgement or that their lawyer will want to settle. If not, I feel I gave it my best effort, and that I was lucky to have someone willing to help someone else.
People ask me "What does it mean to be a Capuchin? How are they different from a monk?" Little things like this, doing small things in your life to help make someone's life a little better, that is what Capuchin life is about. It's the ability to see someone in need of help and recognize that God's will is that we help each other. I'm not sure he's even Catholic, but the fact that he wanted to help me in my time of need, as simple a thing it was for him, means something huge to me.
Keep that idea in mind during the rest of this Lenten season. While acts of kindness may be small and you may feel you're not doing enough, remember that the gifts you offer are better judged by those in need. You'd be surprised how the littlest things mean the most to those in need.
I knew I had to say something in my defense, but like most people I know little about legal recourse and I'm not financially equipped to have a personal lawyer on retainer. Fortunately someone I know through the charity work I do happens to be a lawyer, and was willing to help me out free of charge.
He sat and listened to what happened, gave me a few pointers, and by the end of the talk I was almost ready to counter-sue! It was wonderful to have his assistance. Now when I respond I feel confident that I will either be awarded a Satisfactory judgement or that their lawyer will want to settle. If not, I feel I gave it my best effort, and that I was lucky to have someone willing to help someone else.
People ask me "What does it mean to be a Capuchin? How are they different from a monk?" Little things like this, doing small things in your life to help make someone's life a little better, that is what Capuchin life is about. It's the ability to see someone in need of help and recognize that God's will is that we help each other. I'm not sure he's even Catholic, but the fact that he wanted to help me in my time of need, as simple a thing it was for him, means something huge to me.
Keep that idea in mind during the rest of this Lenten season. While acts of kindness may be small and you may feel you're not doing enough, remember that the gifts you offer are better judged by those in need. You'd be surprised how the littlest things mean the most to those in need.
Yesterday marked a new page in my life: a day where my debt is less than my monthly income. After paying off a 12 year old credit card debt, I'm down to $2300 in total debt, and I feel great!
I wanted to reward myself, since this is something I've worked on even before I decided to pursue a vocation. However I didn't want to spend the money foolishly, like a trip to the casino or something stupid.
Instead, I reverted to one of my childhood dreams, a callback to some of those desires I gave up when I chose to follow more "worldly" careers. As I've delved back into that part of my life, I find myself writing again, as well as something I haven't done in years: play my guitar.
I admit I'm nowhere near as good as I was years ago, but I am relearning fast, and I have the patience to learn things I didn't have when I was young. Hard songs and chord progressions take practice and time....when I was a kid I just wanted to be Carlos Santana right then and there. Now I know that with work and effort you can be anything.
Since I lacked the self-discipline to keep up with my guitar skills, my gear never improved either. As new advances in guitars and amps became available, I chose to spend money on other hobbies or interests. Starting playing as a schoolkid did not give me the funds to buy that better equipment either. In the time I had the money, I'd given up on my guitar already. I feel sad for the lost time.
Fortunately, as I've come back into my love, I've rekindled the old dream of mine; the one thing I truly wanted:
I wanted to reward myself, since this is something I've worked on even before I decided to pursue a vocation. However I didn't want to spend the money foolishly, like a trip to the casino or something stupid.
Instead, I reverted to one of my childhood dreams, a callback to some of those desires I gave up when I chose to follow more "worldly" careers. As I've delved back into that part of my life, I find myself writing again, as well as something I haven't done in years: play my guitar.
I admit I'm nowhere near as good as I was years ago, but I am relearning fast, and I have the patience to learn things I didn't have when I was young. Hard songs and chord progressions take practice and time....when I was a kid I just wanted to be Carlos Santana right then and there. Now I know that with work and effort you can be anything.
Since I lacked the self-discipline to keep up with my guitar skills, my gear never improved either. As new advances in guitars and amps became available, I chose to spend money on other hobbies or interests. Starting playing as a schoolkid did not give me the funds to buy that better equipment either. In the time I had the money, I'd given up on my guitar already. I feel sad for the lost time.
Fortunately, as I've come back into my love, I've rekindled the old dream of mine; the one thing I truly wanted:
This is a 1979 Gibson Les Paul. It is a maple body with maple headstock. Rosewood fretboard with abalone inlay, two humbucker pick-ups, grover locking tuning machines, shown here in cherry sunburst. This is not an instrument, rather a work of art. Guitarists from Paul McCartney, Peter Frampton, Zakk Wylde, Slash, Carlos Santana, Jimmy Page, Bob Marley, and John Lennon all used Les Pauls.
In the words of Chazz Michael Michaels, I could not love a human baby as much as I love this guitar.~
I know I will never own one, however since that time, Gibson bought a smaller company called Epiphone, allowing it to release guitars like the SG and the Les Paul at more affordable prices. So rather than spending the $3000 it would cost for a Gibson Les Paul, an Epiphone can be purchased starting at $400-$500. I'm negotiating as we speak.
Now I thought about this, actually gave it some serious discernment. Was I just getting this guitar to satisfy some childhood dream of owning an icon of great music, or was I making an investment into something I loved? Sure I'd started playing guitar again, and I had my acoustic to keep playing on. Isn't that all I really need? Do I need this beautiful piece of handiwork?
I go through this same thing each time I buy something; last time it was my winter coat. I thought of buying something cheap that would get me through the winter. However my eye caught on a real nice leather coat with a liner and hood for $200. On the one hand, buying cheap is how I should plan on living. I don't need to buy what I want, rather what I need. For the past year and a half, that has been bills. However buying quality is a better value in the long run, as long as you're not splurging. A mink coat would have been over the top, or a team coat for the same cost. My last leather coat lasted me 10 years; it lasted so long I grew out of it. The new coat should last me another 10 years, as long as I don't put on another 100 pounds.
Guitarists the world over love the Les Paul because it is a quality instrument. The crafting, the make, the electronics are all top notch. I don't need the super expensive Les Paul or a really awesome paint job, I'm looking for a guitar for an intermediate player that will last 15+ years. If I am serious about playing guitar, this is the one I should buy.
I've had recent experiences that have hastened my return to music, and now that I'm going back in that direction, I think it's time to make a childhood dream come true, even if it's only the cheap version of that dream.
That and I hear chicks dig guitar players.
Funny thing about addictions...they kinda take over and make you forget to post the second part of a blog series. Yes, I am an addict. Not to crack, sudoku, internet porn, or any other wasteful past time. No, my addiction is much much cooler:
Sid Meier's Civilization 3: Call to Power is quite simply the greatest video game ever created. A turn-based game that mixes the conquest from Age of Empires with the management of Sim City, this game never gets old. Unfortunately, it takes a long time to win (i.e. take over the world), even if you play non-stop over an entire weekend.
I started a game Friday night after finishing at the poker room. I stopped to eat, sleep, go to church, and shower. The rest of the weekend was spent playing Civ3. It's both comforting and scary, being able to clear my mind of all things but the game; I look at it like a vacation...only cheaper and without airfare.
My meager ways have worked however; this week I took out a big chunk of my debt. After liquidating my simple IRA fund, I was infused with a huge cash amount to use. Since many of them are medical bills, I'm also saving all my receipts in hopes of writing it all off next spring.
Most collection agencies are happy to hear from me. Usually they are trying to find lost clients while I am actively calling and making arrangements to settle my debts. Having the large sum of money gave me some leverage, as some agencies were willing to settle for a lesser amount IF I paid a substantial lump sum. I figure I saved $350 easily.
I'm awaiting a decision on my recent $2000 hospital bill. I filled out an application for financial assistance, and I'm praying they can cover at least half of that amount. If so, then I can be out of debt before the summer.
However there are some collectors that just want to be pricks, and while I'm happy about the state of my personal affairs, this one agency has me quite pissed.
In January I paid a big chunck of a bill, $240 on a $340 medical claim. As I called to finish paying off the debt this week, I was given an unusual surprise:
"I'm don't know what to tell you, Mr. Martinez, but according to your account, you owe another $45 for legal fees and documents." I had tried to pay off the bill, but some lady, different than from who I had dealt with before, told me I owed more than the stated amount. I hadn't planned on putting up a fuss, until I was told: "There's no person that works here by that name."
I'm like most people: don't toy with my money (in this instance, my personal debt). I've had mail and phone calls telling me about the $340, no where is there mentioned a $45 fee. There was some arguing back and forth, and I told them they'd see the other $45 when Hell froze over.
Later that day, I realized I handled the situation all wrong, and that despite the extra charge, the idea was to pay off the debt. Feeling somewhat sheepish, I called the collection agency back the next day.
Even though I spoke to someone else, I apologized for my actions the previous day, and told them that I would pay the final $45 to clear the debt. Of course, they had some other ideas:
"I just spoke with my boss, and she said that there's a charge for sending someone out to serve the judgement notice."
I wanted to scream at her over the phone.
"Just yesterday, they said it was $45 to finish paying everything off. So you're saying that in the manner of one day, with a bill of $45, you chose to send the account to be served? How much is that?"
"I don't know right now," was her response.
"Forget my credit card number," I told her. "If you're gonna charge me for it, I'll see you guys in court. Then we can let the judge decide who's being stupid."
I'm not sure what legal recourse I have, or whether the judge will just tell me to pay it anyway. Regardless, if I have to pay for a court date, I might as well vent and complain. I'll be sure to tell him everything I can. Who knows, maybe I'll play the "religious card" and see what happens. How's that expression go: "All's fair in love and litigation?"
One part of the story I left out: after the first day, when I was angry about paying the extra $45 dollars, that was also my first day volunteering at God's Kitchen in downtown Grand Rapids. I think that time spent was beneficial; perhaps it gave me a better perspective...that it was better to just be done than to argue. Maybe when I go back this week I will see things that way again.
I'll talk more about God's Kitchen and Meals on Wheels next time. For now, thank God that I will be able to pay off all my debt before Postulancy in the fall!
(back to Civ3!)
Sid Meier's Civilization 3: Call to Power is quite simply the greatest video game ever created. A turn-based game that mixes the conquest from Age of Empires with the management of Sim City, this game never gets old. Unfortunately, it takes a long time to win (i.e. take over the world), even if you play non-stop over an entire weekend.
I started a game Friday night after finishing at the poker room. I stopped to eat, sleep, go to church, and shower. The rest of the weekend was spent playing Civ3. It's both comforting and scary, being able to clear my mind of all things but the game; I look at it like a vacation...only cheaper and without airfare.
My meager ways have worked however; this week I took out a big chunk of my debt. After liquidating my simple IRA fund, I was infused with a huge cash amount to use. Since many of them are medical bills, I'm also saving all my receipts in hopes of writing it all off next spring.
Most collection agencies are happy to hear from me. Usually they are trying to find lost clients while I am actively calling and making arrangements to settle my debts. Having the large sum of money gave me some leverage, as some agencies were willing to settle for a lesser amount IF I paid a substantial lump sum. I figure I saved $350 easily.
I'm awaiting a decision on my recent $2000 hospital bill. I filled out an application for financial assistance, and I'm praying they can cover at least half of that amount. If so, then I can be out of debt before the summer.
However there are some collectors that just want to be pricks, and while I'm happy about the state of my personal affairs, this one agency has me quite pissed.
In January I paid a big chunck of a bill, $240 on a $340 medical claim. As I called to finish paying off the debt this week, I was given an unusual surprise:
"I'm don't know what to tell you, Mr. Martinez, but according to your account, you owe another $45 for legal fees and documents." I had tried to pay off the bill, but some lady, different than from who I had dealt with before, told me I owed more than the stated amount. I hadn't planned on putting up a fuss, until I was told: "There's no person that works here by that name."
I'm like most people: don't toy with my money (in this instance, my personal debt). I've had mail and phone calls telling me about the $340, no where is there mentioned a $45 fee. There was some arguing back and forth, and I told them they'd see the other $45 when Hell froze over.
Later that day, I realized I handled the situation all wrong, and that despite the extra charge, the idea was to pay off the debt. Feeling somewhat sheepish, I called the collection agency back the next day.
Even though I spoke to someone else, I apologized for my actions the previous day, and told them that I would pay the final $45 to clear the debt. Of course, they had some other ideas:
"I just spoke with my boss, and she said that there's a charge for sending someone out to serve the judgement notice."
I wanted to scream at her over the phone.
"Just yesterday, they said it was $45 to finish paying everything off. So you're saying that in the manner of one day, with a bill of $45, you chose to send the account to be served? How much is that?"
"I don't know right now," was her response.
"Forget my credit card number," I told her. "If you're gonna charge me for it, I'll see you guys in court. Then we can let the judge decide who's being stupid."
I'm not sure what legal recourse I have, or whether the judge will just tell me to pay it anyway. Regardless, if I have to pay for a court date, I might as well vent and complain. I'll be sure to tell him everything I can. Who knows, maybe I'll play the "religious card" and see what happens. How's that expression go: "All's fair in love and litigation?"
One part of the story I left out: after the first day, when I was angry about paying the extra $45 dollars, that was also my first day volunteering at God's Kitchen in downtown Grand Rapids. I think that time spent was beneficial; perhaps it gave me a better perspective...that it was better to just be done than to argue. Maybe when I go back this week I will see things that way again.
I'll talk more about God's Kitchen and Meals on Wheels next time. For now, thank God that I will be able to pay off all my debt before Postulancy in the fall!
(back to Civ3!)
Fat Tuesday is usually a festive day mixed with paczkis and idealistic thoughts of giving up everything for Lent. However for me, I spent a lot of the time in contemplation and regret.
Between the bills and the job change, that final goal of paying off personal debt becomes harder and harder to reach. $3788 is not a huge amount; it averages to $630 a month. It's a realistic goal, unfortunately being a poker dealer again means I'll be lucky to get $800 a month.
This is not a fund raising blog, nor am I looking for handouts. Part of the reason I'm writing this is because I've chastized myself all day today for money that could have been better spent. I feel bad for leaving the car business, I feel bad for buying Chinese take-out yesterday, I feel bad because I should be free and clear from this problem already.
The reason that I've been so frustrated, even angry, is because it screws with my time table. I will go as far to say that God Himself is messing with my perfect schedule. The "plan" was to leave for Postulancy on August 1 with all debts paid and nothing left behind. Yet each large step comes with its own setback. First were the bills of the apartment ($2500). Then it was a change in job. Then there was the money used for my grandmother's last days ($700). In November I had the trip to ER ($2872). Now I am dealing cards again and making less money.
With each new expense, I feel like God doesn't want me to get to the finish line. I don't feel like I'm being dragged kicking and screaming into a vocation, rather I am running uphill and into the wind. Rather than a path through the woods, I feel like my discernment is a traffic jam: a long, frustrating maze of construction work and flashing lights that are confusing and painful, even though their goal is to make everything better. To think that God is hindering my journey is hurtful, but I'm starting to think that way.
I've talked with my Spiritual Director numerous times about "God's Plan vs. My Plan", and how the two are rarely ever the same. The argument I make is: "I am working towards religious life and eventually ordination, how could this not be His plan?" I never expected God to make this road any easier to travel, but to make it even tougher??? Am I being tested? Is God teasing me?
I realize I can't argue with a supernatural & all-powerful entity. I can't convince God that my way is the best way towards accomplishing this goal. I want to be in Chicago with the Capuchins this Fall. Spiritually, I don't know if that is God's plan for me.
I have to accept that He may have other plans and I'll still be in Grand Rapids on August 2.
I get a sinking feeling in my stomach when I think about it, like I just lost something huge. I don't want to give up, I don't want to admit I can't pay off this debt. I made a living of chasing goals and reaching them. "You can do anything!" is the line I was fed for years.
But this...today I had to admit for the first time that this is something completely different. If God's plan isn't for me to enter Postulancy this year, he has the power to make it so. And I can't fight that, nor can I distrust His plan.
I don't know if the lesson is patience, humility, or perseverence, but my journey is by no means finished. Only a month ago I felt like "coasting" the rest of the way. Now I realize the hardest days of discernment are yet to come. I pray that I am wrong, and will continue to pay off debts and prepare for Postulancy. However if that day comes and it's not in God's Plan, I'm sure I will know.
They told me at the beginning that "discernment without prayer was no discernment at all." Man, were they ever right.
Between the bills and the job change, that final goal of paying off personal debt becomes harder and harder to reach. $3788 is not a huge amount; it averages to $630 a month. It's a realistic goal, unfortunately being a poker dealer again means I'll be lucky to get $800 a month.
This is not a fund raising blog, nor am I looking for handouts. Part of the reason I'm writing this is because I've chastized myself all day today for money that could have been better spent. I feel bad for leaving the car business, I feel bad for buying Chinese take-out yesterday, I feel bad because I should be free and clear from this problem already.
The reason that I've been so frustrated, even angry, is because it screws with my time table. I will go as far to say that God Himself is messing with my perfect schedule. The "plan" was to leave for Postulancy on August 1 with all debts paid and nothing left behind. Yet each large step comes with its own setback. First were the bills of the apartment ($2500). Then it was a change in job. Then there was the money used for my grandmother's last days ($700). In November I had the trip to ER ($2872). Now I am dealing cards again and making less money.
With each new expense, I feel like God doesn't want me to get to the finish line. I don't feel like I'm being dragged kicking and screaming into a vocation, rather I am running uphill and into the wind. Rather than a path through the woods, I feel like my discernment is a traffic jam: a long, frustrating maze of construction work and flashing lights that are confusing and painful, even though their goal is to make everything better. To think that God is hindering my journey is hurtful, but I'm starting to think that way.
I've talked with my Spiritual Director numerous times about "God's Plan vs. My Plan", and how the two are rarely ever the same. The argument I make is: "I am working towards religious life and eventually ordination, how could this not be His plan?" I never expected God to make this road any easier to travel, but to make it even tougher??? Am I being tested? Is God teasing me?
I realize I can't argue with a supernatural & all-powerful entity. I can't convince God that my way is the best way towards accomplishing this goal. I want to be in Chicago with the Capuchins this Fall. Spiritually, I don't know if that is God's plan for me.
I have to accept that He may have other plans and I'll still be in Grand Rapids on August 2.
I get a sinking feeling in my stomach when I think about it, like I just lost something huge. I don't want to give up, I don't want to admit I can't pay off this debt. I made a living of chasing goals and reaching them. "You can do anything!" is the line I was fed for years.
But this...today I had to admit for the first time that this is something completely different. If God's plan isn't for me to enter Postulancy this year, he has the power to make it so. And I can't fight that, nor can I distrust His plan.
I don't know if the lesson is patience, humility, or perseverence, but my journey is by no means finished. Only a month ago I felt like "coasting" the rest of the way. Now I realize the hardest days of discernment are yet to come. I pray that I am wrong, and will continue to pay off debts and prepare for Postulancy. However if that day comes and it's not in God's Plan, I'm sure I will know.
They told me at the beginning that "discernment without prayer was no discernment at all." Man, were they ever right.
2008 looked like a promising start in finishing up my debt. While my hours at work aren't what I expected (I rarely work 40 hours a week), the money takes care of my current bills as well as past debt. I also made plans to speed up the process by liquidating my Simple IRA. I know there's a serious tax liability, but between donations to my Church and the medical bills I'm paying, there should be enough of a tax credit to offset the $500ish liability.I had the whole thing figured out - I even have it all mapped out in a wonderful Excel spreadsheet, until I got an unexpected call this morning.
"Good morning, Vito. This is xxx calling from St. Mary's Hospital. I was just calling to inquire about the bill for your recent hospitalization."
For those of you that remember, I went to the hospital in November because of a breakthrough seizure. I thought I had the total bill mapped out: $591 for the ambulance ride, $478 for the actual visit, and $21 to radiology for a single X-ray. That's just over $1000.
"Oh no, Mr. Martinez. We show a bill here of $2000."
My only response: "You gotta be &#*^ing kidding me!"
I quickly apologized, and told her how I'd received the bills already, and no where did I see a bill of that magnitude. Not to mention, my stay at the hospital lasted 4 hours - 3 of which were spent lying in a bed doing nothing but listen to the drunk guy next to me constantly calling the nurses "whores."
$2000. You gotta be &#*^ing kidding me. I could have had the same experience at a Red Roof Inn for only $45 and gotten a free Continental breakfast.
So to catch up...I could have been down to $1000 in total debt after liquidating my assets and applying my tax return to my bills. I added another $1000 onto that because of the doctor bills from my incident in November. Now, it is up to $4000 in net debt I have to pay after spending $3500 to pay off everything else. That puts the current total back up to $7500. I've asked for an itemized bill of everything I spent, and St. Mary's says they have a program which is supposed to help with some of the debt, based on my present income. Since I'm well under the middle-class tax bracket these days, I'm hoping something can be done about it. Until then, I need to figure out how much I have to pay per month to be debt free.
Is there a lesson in all this: yes.
First...get a tattoo on your forehead that says: "No ambulance rides please!"
Second...I'm beginning to understand the term "kicking and screaming" with regards to discernment. Each time I try to live this year in the way I want to, something comes up that forces me to turn back to prayer, to faith, and to letting God do His thing. Will God send me a check for $2000 with a simple message that says: "Here's looking out for ya. -G"
Probably not.
But each time I approach this decision about the Capuchins in a businesslike attitude rather than a religious mindset, things just don't work out. I worry about how things will get paid, I see "extra money" I can spend on stupid things, I find a reason to take my time in paying off debt. "There'll only by $1000 left to go by April. I could squeeze in a trip to Vegas before August!"
So when I hear priests talk about how "God took them, kicking and screaming, into the priesthood," I begin to understand. I want to do this my way, according to my rules, my Excel timeline, and my personally laid out budget. If I fight hard enough....
I shouldn't have to fight, and that's what I'm gonna try not to do. I'm just gonna sit with God about it, and see what He tells me to do. Probably not the best financial advice, but I think this is how I'm supposed to look at it.
On the bright side, with "Dubya" sending me that $500, 25% of the problem is done. =D
This week I got a promotion.
When Bossman originally hired me a few months ago, the plan was for me to be the Sales Manager of the dealership. Now, it's hard to be a manager when there's no other sales guys but yourself. I did financing, F&I, clerk work, and I sold the cars.
Yesterday we hired our first sales guy. He's a quiet guy that knows very little about selling anything. However he has two things going for him that always makes a sales manager optimistic: he's driven to work hard, and he speaks Spanish as well as English.
Bossman and a few others joked about the competition that would arise between me and my new sales guy. We're still a small car lot, even though we've grown since I started, both Newguy and myself will be working the lot to get deals done. Oddly enough, I'm not feeling jealous or greedy. In fact, I'm quite adamant about giving him most of the up's so he can learn the sales process.
While I still consider myself a workaholic, my determination has little to do with money. If Newguy starts to sell a bunch of cars, I'm happy for him. He has a family that lives below the poverty line, and I have first-hand experience on how a job like this can drastically change one's tax status. In fact, I want him to do so well that I don't feel obligated to stay...should God call me to a more religious life.
The boss of the Poker Room is offering me a top spot as well. I've dealt cards for him so long, I've learned most of the operation. Instead of actually dealing cards, I spend more time enforcing the rules, chatting with the charities, and managing paperwork. I suppose the title of pitboss is an appropriate job title, and hopefully something I can share with others later in life.
As I spend 18 hours a day working to pay off debt, I feel more like I'm using my debt as an excuse to bury my personal time with activities. Perhaps if I keep working, I won't have to make a decision. Maybe if I keep working, I won't have time to sit and reflect on how my grandmother's death really impacted my life. If I stay busy, I keep my mind focused on work and not on how hard it truly is to understand where God is supposedly leading me.
So for now I will work my two jobs, come home tired at 2AM, get up for work at 7:30, and do what I can to pay off my past debts...or at least that's what I tell myself. I've had weeks where I've made 1500, yet I have no idea where all the money went. I've not played poker in over a month (my new position restricts me from playing) no have I spent any real money on material things. As I mentioned before, my "success" is reminiscent of years past, where I'd make my money then simply spend without any thought of savings. This is a personal discipline I've tried to hold myself towards.
The oddest thing of all is that while Michigan's had the highest unemployment rate in the country (source) , I've been bombarded with job offers. Even when I tell people that I may not be in the workforce after next fall, they still topple over each other, trying to give me a job in some managerial spot. What's most ironic: even when I mention my vocational calling, people still try and tempt me with more money to go work for them.
Until later....
When Bossman originally hired me a few months ago, the plan was for me to be the Sales Manager of the dealership. Now, it's hard to be a manager when there's no other sales guys but yourself. I did financing, F&I, clerk work, and I sold the cars.
Yesterday we hired our first sales guy. He's a quiet guy that knows very little about selling anything. However he has two things going for him that always makes a sales manager optimistic: he's driven to work hard, and he speaks Spanish as well as English.
Bossman and a few others joked about the competition that would arise between me and my new sales guy. We're still a small car lot, even though we've grown since I started, both Newguy and myself will be working the lot to get deals done. Oddly enough, I'm not feeling jealous or greedy. In fact, I'm quite adamant about giving him most of the up's so he can learn the sales process.
While I still consider myself a workaholic, my determination has little to do with money. If Newguy starts to sell a bunch of cars, I'm happy for him. He has a family that lives below the poverty line, and I have first-hand experience on how a job like this can drastically change one's tax status. In fact, I want him to do so well that I don't feel obligated to stay...should God call me to a more religious life.
The boss of the Poker Room is offering me a top spot as well. I've dealt cards for him so long, I've learned most of the operation. Instead of actually dealing cards, I spend more time enforcing the rules, chatting with the charities, and managing paperwork. I suppose the title of pitboss is an appropriate job title, and hopefully something I can share with others later in life.
As I spend 18 hours a day working to pay off debt, I feel more like I'm using my debt as an excuse to bury my personal time with activities. Perhaps if I keep working, I won't have to make a decision. Maybe if I keep working, I won't have time to sit and reflect on how my grandmother's death really impacted my life. If I stay busy, I keep my mind focused on work and not on how hard it truly is to understand where God is supposedly leading me.
So for now I will work my two jobs, come home tired at 2AM, get up for work at 7:30, and do what I can to pay off my past debts...or at least that's what I tell myself. I've had weeks where I've made 1500, yet I have no idea where all the money went. I've not played poker in over a month (my new position restricts me from playing) no have I spent any real money on material things. As I mentioned before, my "success" is reminiscent of years past, where I'd make my money then simply spend without any thought of savings. This is a personal discipline I've tried to hold myself towards.
The oddest thing of all is that while Michigan's had the highest unemployment rate in the country (source) , I've been bombarded with job offers. Even when I tell people that I may not be in the workforce after next fall, they still topple over each other, trying to give me a job in some managerial spot. What's most ironic: even when I mention my vocational calling, people still try and tempt me with more money to go work for them.
Until later....