I found out this weekend that G.T Autos, the dealership where I'd made my success in the car business, is now for sale. While I haven't sold cars in years, I found myself sad at the news.Most of all I am sad for Elvis, my old boss. When I started, as you can read in my older posts, we got together with the intention of making a boatload of money...and we did. I remember checks and piles of cash stored away as we claimed ourselves as kings of the car sales world. His goal was to create a large enough business so he and his family (I'm pictured with his dad above) could be set. I only wanted to pay off my past debt and prepare the way for Capuchin life.
Even though my Bosnian boss couldn't understand who the Capuchins were or why I was going, he fully supported my in my decision. He and his family were Muslim, and while they were not of my faith, they respected my choice to follow this vocation. He was energetic, funny, and I knew he would succeed at his dream.
With the bad economy and the hit to auto makers, part makers, and sales lot across Michigan, I suppose it was only time before he closed up shop. I feel bad for him and his family. All of us have dreams, and when those dreams are taken away it forces us to change direction and find a new way to live.
In a way I also feel guilty. Perhaps my leaving was so well-timed, I wonder if I sub-consciously knew what was going to happen and made plans for it. It seems ridiculous, yet I feel that I found a way out of the business before I faced any of the loss.
I also realize that my "fall-back plan" is now gone. Where I to leave the Capuchins, Elvis always promised me a job at the lot. With the lot gone, I am at the mercy of the economy should I try make that decision. I've never considered leaving religious life, yet I'm a person who likes to have "all bases covered." As selfish as it sounds, I have a sense of anxiety about the closing of G.T Autos.
I remember my last discussion with him: "You're lucky you got out when you did. Things have gotten really bad. I don't know how much longer I can keep the doors open on this place."
Sometimes it's hard to feel you've done the right thing when you know others you care about are suffering hundreds of miles away.
1 Response to When Dreams Fade Away
Br Vito - This post is both funny and sad; Funny because you touched on the feelings that we all face at some point, sad because of what is going on to your friends (and many of ours). Most guys ALWAYS have a "back up"; whether that is in a job, a life strategy, or believe it or not, even in relationships ("well, if things don't work out with her I can always go back to..."). So, having your safety net taken from you makes you have slight pangs of anxiety since the option you know you were never going to take was taken from you.
Sometimes I have found in life that when such options are taken from me, it is really divine intervention guiding me as if to say, "don't look back there- the road is straight ahead." I'm currently helping out other family members right now who are also in transition due to this economy. It's very easy to get caught up in their situation and worry about them. So, I understand what you are going through.
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