Seems like a few more guys are interested in telling their journey of discernment and life with the Capuchin friars. I think it's important, especially in a digital world, for discerning people to share their story. I remember when i had a lot of questions, concerns, and even fears about leaving my old life and doing something so different. Hopefully you'll find their stories as enlightening as you've found mine.

For my Christology class, the first book I'm reading is by Marcus Borg, entitled, Jesus: Uncovering the Life, Teachings, and Relevance of a Religious Revolutionary. It's an introductory level to the concept of the Historical Jesus and a historical-critical method of interpreting scripture. Having previous experience in this area has made the class easier, but drudging through this book has been a challenge, both for reading and reflection.

Sometimes it's the small things that bring us pleasure. As a discerning friar, I can be so focused on the big things, that I'm surprised when something little is recognized as a gift from God.

Today at class, I was talking with a few of my classmates. When I told them I was 35, one of them remarked: "I thought you were only 25!"

While some might consider my happiness an appeal to my pride, there is something to say about being accepted and perhaps integrated with the younger culture of college life. As someone trying to identify myself as a strong student, a discerning friar, a Mexican American, a functional person with Epilepsy, and the many more pieces that make me who I am, it's good to have those moments when you no longer feel on the margins.

So while his statement may have been non-chalant, small things like that make this process of school and integration a little bit easier.

I was recently in Milwaukee at the reception of our new Postulants. Events like these bring many of the friars together. One of the older friars came up to me and said: "You write great stuff. But sometimes you go a little long."

"You sound like a parishioner after Mass!" I told him jokingly, and we had a good laugh.

it's good to know that friars from my Order keep tabs on me, even if they have some helpful criticisms along the way.

I made the decision to wear my habit to class at St. Xavier University today. It's only 10AM, but so the impact has had as much to do with the others as it has with me.

It was 1995 when I last stepped into a classroom, expecting to receive a grade. For the past few months I've been excited for this chance to learn at a higher institution. Now that I'm here, with all the reservations and complications that I bring with me, I find that it is something still new; the first day of school notwithstanding.

Last night I went to Transfer Orientation with two other post-novices at my school: St. Xavier University. It's a required seminar that each student must take before joining. But instead of being oriented with the school I realized the disturbing reality of returning to school as a 35 year old.

Even though I've been in the city for a few weeks, yesterday was our first real "introduction" to the city of Chicago. It's important to know the history of where you live as well as the history of the people who live there. As a way to get us started, we a trip downtown on a beautiful day.

"Do you know what you're getting yourself into?" a little voice in the back of my head asked.

"I mean do you really know what you're about to do? What you are giving up?"

I don't think it was the voice of the Enemy or some malignant Force trying to steal my vocation at the last minute. Rather that little voice that spoke came from me. It's a voice that people who've made commitments are probably familiar with: a voice that - after all the planning, excitement, invitations, preparation, and prayer - drives home the greatest question of the day: Am I doing the right thing?

I know it's bad form for a blogger to take a month-long hiatus from his/her craft, but taking vows to the Order of Capuchin Franciscans has been a pretty big deal.

Numerous guests came to visit, I was able to attend several different functions for the province, I was struck with tonsilitis and a middle-ear infection, I've started my preparation for school at Saint Xavier University, and this week starts different orientations regarding life as a post-novice as well as being orientated to this year's ministry at Saint Lawrence High School in Mt. Calvary, WI.

This morning I look out the window, wondering if rain on the day I take vows is either good or bad luck. While something so important is about more than luck and weather conditions, it's a unique feeling to capstone a long journey with the simplicity of the rain.

With 10 days left of Novitiate, I know I'll be taking a break from blogging for about a month. My schedule from now until the end of August is already filling up, not the least of which is my profession date on July 31st.

But before going on break, I know there are many people that wanted me to put my Novitiate year in some form of perspective - to give understanding to year that is spent to allow people the time, space, and support to discern their call to religious life. While I can't speak for everyone else here in my Novitiate, nor for the guys who decided to leave during the year, I can do my best to explain what the Novitiate year has meant to me.