Today I stopped being a pitboss at the Poker Room. There are many reasons behind the decision. There are moral issues, issues I have with other dealers and pitbosses, and I have my misplaced sense of complacency. I've wanted to "coast" to August 1. I realize that I won't be allowed to be that lazy.
Many times when you leave a job, there is a huge sense of loss, a sense of worry, and if the break was intense there can be some resentment. My boss, a good man who did a lot for me, felt bad about the decision, but I could understand his point of view. It was a lose/lose situation for both of us, and it was best if I just moved on.
I've already called Bossman at the car dealership. Several times when I was a pitboss, he called me asking me if I ever wanted to sell cars again. They have another sales guy working for them now, and I'm glad for him. My replacement wasn't really the "sales" type, and I was concerned about his prosperity after my leaving.
Most likely, I'll simply return to being a dealer on a full-time basis. There will be some embarrassment, perhaps a little shame. A year ago, I doubt I'd ever show my face in there again. Now, I plan on taking a few days to center myself and refresh some of the important things in my life, use the time the best I can, and return to dealing cards for money. It's not super cash, and I have the extra bills that came in to think about.
Things happen for a reason. I have to be honest enough to realize that I'll never know why my life is as it is, and the courage to accept whatever will happen next.