Music and Discernment: An Inconvenient Truth

Yes, it's 3:43 AM and I'm still awake. It is impossible for me to get to sleep after working a Saturday at the poker room and then wake up for 9:30 Mass. My only option is to stay awake until Mass, then finally sleep afterwards. It's a new idea, and I'm hoping that I don't yawn while reading from the first letter of Paul to the Corinthians.

So between practicing the reading and eating some Taco Bell (Fourth Meal!), I figured I could use up some time by updating my blog.

This weekend, the charity at the poker room is the AMBUCS, a charitable organization who's goal is to aid in the mobility of people with disabilities. The people are wonderful, and I've had a blast helping them out over the weekend. This is the part of being a pitboss that I really enjoy: knowing that all that gambling is going to some benefit.

As the night wound down, I spoke in length with one of the members of the regional AMBUCS office. He talked about how long he was going to sleep in the next morning, while I dreaded pulling the "all-nighter" just so I could get to church. Our conversation soon changed to the topic of religion, and eventually about my intention to join the Capuchin Postulancy this Fall.

We talked at length about priesthood, faith, and what it takes to make a difference in the world. Talking with him, I found I really enjoyed hearing about his beliefs, as well as answering questions about mine. I felt like we were learning something from each other at that moment, and how wonderful it was to have a conversation about faith, even in the midst of poker tables.

Now I've never been the "preachy" type. I don't try to force my beliefs on anyone, and I don't openly attack other religions (Stephen Colbert would say that different religions are merely "...different ways one can accept Jesus as their savior.") But when I talk about my faith and my vocational experience, I feel like I'm doing part of what I should be doing, spreading a message through my life. I admit I still feel awkward talking about myself in such a light. It's much easier to type here and have my text be read by random people, but to discuss my life face-to-face with any of my readers is a loftier goal. Side note: I own this book (and so can you!) corporate sponsor goes here

Seriously, I continue to learn more about what this Calling is all about. I still back-pedal now and then; I never claimed to be good at this discernment thing. But I learn something each day; I try to apply something new each day. And when I have ideas like talking more about my vocational journey, it helps to have that theme song to keep me going.

I liked the movie An Inconvenient Truth, but what really brought it home, what almost brought me to tears, was listing to Melissa Etheridge sing I Need to Wake Up. Like many other songs, when looked at from my perspective, the song takes on an entirely new meaning.

As I watched the nifty text during the credits, I imagined what it would be to see things written like: "Give 10 dollars to the next person who asks." "Give your attention to someone who needs it." "Help at your local soup kitchen." "Start a soup kitchen if there isn't one there." "Teach an English class for those who can't speak it. If you can't understand them, learn a new language."
The one line I wouldn't remove from all that: "When you pray; move your feet."

Maybe this is something I need to make in order for others to see. Hmmm......

Until then, here is I Need to Wake Up:

Have I been sleeping?
I've been so still, afraid of crumbling
Have I been careless?
Dismissing all the distant rumblings
Take me where I am supposed to be
To comprehend the things that I can't see

'Cause I need to move
I need to wake up
I need to change
I need to shake up
I need to speak out
Something's got to break up
I've been asleep
And I need to wake up now

And as a child
I danced like it was 1999
My dreams were wild
The promise of this new world would be mine
Now I am throwing off the carelessness of youth
To listen to an inconvenient truth

That I need to move
I need to wake up
I need to change
I need to shake up
I need to speak out
Something's got to break up
I've been asleep
And I need to wake up now

I am not an island
I am not alone
I am my intentions
Trapped here in this flesh and bone

I need to move
I need to wake up
I need to change
I need to shake up
I need to speak out
Something's got to break up
I've been asleep
And I need to wake up now

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