Music and Discernment: Coming Out of the Dark

Sometimes we get busy and forget what's most important in our lives. That certainly explains these past two weeks. Between working 70 hours a week, moving things from one apartment to the next, and getting enough sleep so I don't have another breakthrough seizure, I run out of hours during the day. Sometimes I forget to pray. Some Sundays I sleep until 11:30. Sometimes I simply forget why I'm working so hard.

Quite honestly, the "I'm sooo busy," line is an excuse. Were I the perfect Catholic, I'd never forget my priorities. In fact, I'd go so far as to call myself a bad discerning Catholic. Eight months ago, that label would have eaten me alive.

Thankfully, the Lord accepts us as we are; with all our virtues, our vices, our dreams, and our doubts. I don't think we're given carte blanche to go nuts, but I think it's a wonderful reminder of what love truly is: acceptance without condition. That love is so simple yet far too complex for me to put into words. Thankfully, someone else found the words and gave me this week's song.

I attended the Sunday evening Mass at my church last night. I woke up late on Sunday, and rather than chastise myself for the lapse, I took it as an opportunity to attend one of the other Masses. The Sunday evening Mass is a little "less traditional" than my usual 9:30 AM, but it's good to step outside of the norm every now and then.

After the Father's homily, the musicians started playing, and the Cantor began to sing a song by Gloria Estefan entitled: Coming Out of the Dark. Originally a song about her struggle after a near fatal accident on her tour bus, I learned the song is often performed by church choirs because of it's message.

I recognized the song when I heard it, thinking "Oh how neat, a cover of Gloria E." But listening to the words that were being sung, I could hear that message of love. Regardless of how long the road is, regardless of how bumpy the trip gets, someone is there to help you get through it all. I'm far from being charismatic with my faith, but if there were a song I could sing that would proclaim my testimony, this would be the song.

Once again, it was like hearing the song for the first time. I hadn't paid attention to the message until last a mass I shouldn't have attended because I overslept.

Perhaps it doesn't classify as a miracle, but perhaps these divine ironies are what give me that nudge in the right direction. Whether God actually spoke or I interpreted His message through the words of another, I felt something wonderful. I've tried to describe it so many times, but the only way I can describe that feeling is love.

Once again, you can find this song on the music player at the bottom of this blog.

Why be afraid if I'm not alone
Life is never easy the rest is unknown
Up to know for me it's been hands against stone
Spent each and every moment searching
For what to believe

Coming out of the dark
I finally see the light now
And it's shining on me
Coming out of the dark
I know the love that saved me
You're sharing with me

Starting again is part of the plan
And I'll be so much stronger holding your hand
Step by step I'll make it through I know I can
It may not make it easier but I've felt you
Near all the way

Coming out of the dark
I finally see the light now
And it's shining on me
Coming out of the dark
I know the love that saved me
You're sharing with me

Forever, forever I stand on the rock of your love
Forever and ever I'll stand on the rock of your love
Love is all it takes, no matter what we face

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1 Response to Music and Discernment: Coming Out of the Dark

August 27, 2007 at 11:27 PM

Well, maybe it isn't a struggle once a person reaches ordination (hahah) but, I want to reassure you - there is struggle to pray, even when the whole day is built around prayer. It may just be "newness" or something - but I was more "connected" in prayer three weeks ago than today.

My point is this: hang in there. And keep listening for the messages. I'm beginning to thing the messages will come if we're listening...not so much because of where we are or what we bump into, but because the Messenger is seeking us perhaps as much as we're seeking the Messenger.

You're in my prayers.