Music and Spirituality: Return to Innocence

Much of the music that I've found inspiring relates to my calling, both to the faith and the priesthood. I don't feel I ever truly "lost faith," but just last year I was far from living a Catholic life. As I journey, I carry the weight of many mistakes on my shoulders.

I've learned that this disposition is not mine alone. While others may shy away from celibacy, community life (within an Order), or a meager lifestyle, the hardest part for many discerning man and woman is answering the question: "Am I good enough?"

While I would never doubt God's intention, I fear that He may have been calling me for quite some time; but after a life of self-indulgent retardation, perhaps it's too late for someone as pathetic as myself to actually become a priest. When my thoughts become despondent, a song from the musical project Enigma helps to improve my state of mind.



If the name Enigma doesn't ring a bell, think "Gregorian Chant with Dance Music". Most known for their single "Sadeness (Part 1)," the group had great success in the early 90's. Their work is sometimes criticized as being unoriginal, siting other musicians such as Delirium and Deep Forest for already pioneering the genre.

Later Enigma would release a track entitled "Return to Innocence," featuring samples of Taiwanese Aboriginal Chant played over a drum beat taken from the group Led Zeppelin. While I always found the song to be a "catchy tune," it wasn't until years later that I heard something deeper within the song.

As I've mentioned before, I think my story is one to share...and I still work on my screenplay when i can find the time. As I think about scenes from my life, things that have happened that have pointed me in this direction, this song is the anthem for my vocation story. While the lyrics are elementary, the message reminds me that maybe, just maybe, I might be good enough to do whatever God's asking of me.

Love - Devotion
Feeling - Emotion

Don't be afraid to be weak
Don't be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart, my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence

If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself, don't hide
Just believe in destiny

Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and lose the chance
The return to innocence

That's not the beginning of the end
It's the return to yourself
The return to innocence


-Enigma