Sick Dreams

After being ill for the past few days, I decided on the best course of action: buying a bottle of NyQuil and preparing to sleep for over 12 hours. It's an interesting way to cure yourself, and I actually feel better this morning than when I went to bed at 4PM yesterday afternoon. So I know the remedy still works.

This course of action has one huge side-effect...the really really weird dreams. When you're sick, you can start thinking about really bazaar things, (what if more than three Vito's, that is to say me in three different substances that are exactly alike, existed within this plane of existence?) Add my memories, my schooling, and some of my weird experiences and things get pretty crazy.

Here's a few outside factors to keep in mind:

1. My room is directly above the chapel, so when they start the Opening Hymn, I can hear it.
2. We live in the bad part of town, so every once in a while, a car with a lot of bass will come bumping by.
3. I have an odd sense of humor.

The first dream I remember was me at an outdoor revival. I had the feeling that this was actually a weekend retreat, but the feel of the place, the look of the large tent, mixed with the preconceived notions I had were telling me this was more of a Baptist Revival. As I walk into the tent, there's an announcement made: "And now, reading for the last time, Sean Connery!"

And as Sean Connery began to read, I started thinking: "This guy cannot proclaim." And maybe in a cross-memory, I imagined myself standing before the entire department at my college and reading my dissertation as I would read the letter to Titus.

After the reading came the Psalm, and everyone started dancing. Not Liturgical Dancing or anything interpretive, rather "we're on the Ellen show" type of dancing. I remember being confused because the Psalm was something slow, like "Shepherd Me, Oh God" or something.

After that, there was some confusion about who would read next. I volunteered (as I often do) but someone else did. My memory gets fuzzy after that, but I remember debating with Stephen Colbert (via satellite to his TV show) and being angry that every statement I made turned into a joke for him.

Later, after having woken up and coughed out 13 lbs. of phlegm, I remember dreaming about this little convenience store in the middle of a bad neighborhood. It was well lit up, with plenty of bullet-proof glass surrounding the joint. Inside, it was one of those tight stores where the aisles are really close and all you can see are candy, those really gross sandwiches, and the cigarette rack above the checkout person's head.

It was late at night, and while I feel more comfortable in these areas than most, I definitely was not comfortable here. I remember ducking behind a waist-high brick wall as I watched a car with a guy holding an M4-A1 rifle sticking out the side of the passenger window. As I walked to the store, I see a guy approach me out of the corner of my eye. I've never been robbed in real life, so I never know what the experience is gonna be like, and in the dream I was a little shaken.

Upon approaching me, he sees my face, my shirt (I happened to be wearing the Capuchin Soup Kitchen shirt) and my keys (I often wear a lanyard around my neck with all my keys when working at St. Ben's, as a symbol of being a Porter) and started talking and joking with me. Immediately my demeanor changed, and while I had no idea how this guy knew me or what he was even talking about, I could converse with him and longer feeling scared.

At some point, a really really loud car drove by, with the bass pounding. In my dream, I saw a '79 Monte Carlo SS (black) with huge 24" rims (which I think looks disgusting) roll by. After the car left my dream, I remember walking into the convenience store and seeing one of my old bosses doing the numbers as she was getting ready to close down. She looked rather stressed about working there, but she's always found happiness in paperwork and numbers, so she seemed somewhat at ease.

After a while, the owner comes in, who I recognize as Bruce Willis. He takes me outside and on top of the roof of the convenience store, and reaches for a light switch (one of those dial ones, not just a regular switch). As he slowly brings the lights on, these really bright spot lights that he has pointing onto the roof of his store (which makes no sense) he starts shouting "Wake up! Wake up, little ones!" in a patronizing tone. I hear groans and curses coming from people who were sleeping on top of his roof in little corners.

He ushers them past us and tells them not to sleep up here anymore. I was kinda mad, so I told him: "You know, you've kinda fallen off since that movie with Matthew Perry." I don't remember what happened next...I woke up.

The last dream stayed on topic (if that's actually possible) from when I woke up at 1AM until I woke up again at 8:30AM.

I dreamed I was working for Kramer Intl. again, a company where I would go to different college campuses to do music videos, have laser tag shows, virtual reality rides....stuff like that. I was riding with someone as we were going out to do this show. The guy I was riding with was someone who'd worked for me at Kramer, and was really really kind of weird. Like one time he told me he was training to kill someone. Yeah, that kind of weird.

Anyway, he and I were in the truck headed to somewhere in Wherever We Were Headed to do a laser tag show. When we arrived, we had these really nice rooms at this resort. This entire neighborhood was extremely nice. And I'm not talking Farmington Hills nice or Whitefish Bay nice, I'm talking REALLY nice. Overlooking our resort is this massive mansion on top of this great hill, which if i had to guess, was a 1/4 mile slope from where we were.

These people who came down from the mansion were happy beyond reason to see us. I'd think something like Laser Tag would be beneath these sort of people, yet they were extremely happy to see us. It was the two parents with their daughter and friend. Apparently their daughter's class was in the running for being the national champs in Laser Tag this year, and us coming would give them the opportunity to clinch their spot as the top of their division.

In reality, the Laser Tag game was just an inflated arena big enough to fit in a gymnasium. Inside the arena was some music, some black lights, and a fog machine to make everything look cool. The guns each had sensors to track how many people you killed. It was kind of cheesy, wasn't really structured, and it was something for the kids to do.

When we set up this time, it was like watching a first-person-shooter video game. Part of my dream was a flashback to when I played Counter-Strike, as these girls (their daughter was part of an all-girls Laser Tag Team) did flips, crazy jumps and shots...I think I even remember a slow-motion shot by one of them like in Max Payne.

After the win and celebration, we were invited to the mansion to celebrate with everyone. On the one hand, it was cool to celebrate, but it was then that I started to "notice" things.

Perhaps of my love of movies and conspiracies, I uncovered a plot by one of the girls who'd "enslaved" the daughter of the rich family so that she would have them killed, sell the house to my partner for absolutely nothing, then by continuing to "enslave" the minds of others, she could become this huge super villain and take over the world.

There was a car chase scene down one of the freeways, there was a tender moment where I tried to convince the daughter not to go against her parents. I saved the day, vanquished the evil conspirators...and after driving back by myself I realized I only got paid $45 for going there and I'd left my laptop somewhere at that resort.

So remember, if you have a bad cold, you have 24 hours where you can just sleep, and you're in need of a new blog topic, don't forget about the healing power of NyQuil. =)

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