Stumbling After Francis

This week I got a promotion.

When Bossman originally hired me a few months ago, the plan was for me to be the Sales Manager of the dealership. Now, it's hard to be a manager when there's no other sales guys but yourself. I did financing, F&I, clerk work, and I sold the cars.

Yesterday we hired our first sales guy. He's a quiet guy that knows very little about selling anything. However he has two things going for him that always makes a sales manager optimistic: he's driven to work hard, and he speaks Spanish as well as English.

Bossman and a few others joked about the competition that would arise between me and my new sales guy. We're still a small car lot, even though we've grown since I started, both Newguy and myself will be working the lot to get deals done. Oddly enough, I'm not feeling jealous or greedy. In fact, I'm quite adamant about giving him most of the up's so he can learn the sales process.

While I still consider myself a workaholic, my determination has little to do with money. If Newguy starts to sell a bunch of cars, I'm happy for him. He has a family that lives below the poverty line, and I have first-hand experience on how a job like this can drastically change one's tax status. In fact, I want him to do so well that I don't feel obligated to stay...should God call me to a more religious life.

The boss of the Poker Room is offering me a top spot as well. I've dealt cards for him so long, I've learned most of the operation. Instead of actually dealing cards, I spend more time enforcing the rules, chatting with the charities, and managing paperwork. I suppose the title of pitboss is an appropriate job title, and hopefully something I can share with others later in life.

As I spend 18 hours a day working to pay off debt, I feel more like I'm using my debt as an excuse to bury my personal time with activities. Perhaps if I keep working, I won't have to make a decision. Maybe if I keep working, I won't have time to sit and reflect on how my grandmother's death really impacted my life. If I stay busy, I keep my mind focused on work and not on how hard it truly is to understand where God is supposedly leading me.

So for now I will work my two jobs, come home tired at 2AM, get up for work at 7:30, and do what I can to pay off my past debts...or at least that's what I tell myself. I've had weeks where I've made 1500, yet I have no idea where all the money went. I've not played poker in over a month (my new position restricts me from playing) no have I spent any real money on material things. As I mentioned before, my "success" is reminiscent of years past, where I'd make my money then simply spend without any thought of savings. This is a personal discipline I've tried to hold myself towards.

The oddest thing of all is that while Michigan's had the highest unemployment rate in the country (source) , I've been bombarded with job offers. Even when I tell people that I may not be in the workforce after next fall, they still topple over each other, trying to give me a job in some managerial spot. What's most ironic: even when I mention my vocational calling, people still try and tempt me with more money to go work for them.

Until later....